Beyond Whiskey
by tied.knots
Summary: No matter how things ended, you're here because things didn't actually end or did they? Post 718 (Post Series Canon).
1. Ballantine's

"Okay got it. Yeah, I reviewed the latest report. I'll see you later. Bye."

Olivia wakes up to the sounds of someone's footsteps pacing back and forth in her room. She opens her eyes and sees Fitz getting off the phone with Marcus she presumes. With a quick glance at her bedside clock, she sees that it's about ten to six in the morning but Fitz was almost finished getting dressed to the clothes that he was wearing the night before and appears to be heading out of her place soon.

"Hi"

Fitz snaps his head to the timid voice directed at him and sees Olivia slowly propping herself up in bed. He can't help but be taken back at her beauty as he let his eyes linger for a short second at the vision in front of him before quickly looking away. Almost a decade since they met and she still takes his breath away every single time.

"Hi"

"Leaving soon?"

"Yeah, Marcus called to inform me that our meeting has been moved up to 8:30 because the donor had a sudden change in schedule and requested for a breakfast meeting instead. I'm sorry for waking you up but I'll be out in a minute so you can go back to sleep, " Fitz said as he finishes tying up his black Hugo Boss oxfords.

With sleep no longer in her mind, Olivia remains seated against the headboard as she observes Fitz finish dressing up. "Busy day?" she asked gently while wrapping the sheets around her as she waits for his reply.

"Yeah, sort of. Back to back meetings with the donors and then updates with the team on the current string of cases."

With his phone at hand and his black suit jacket loop on his arm, he starts to head out of her room. "I'll get going now as I still have to stop by the hotel to take a shower before going to the institute." Fitz walks out and proceeds to her front door while Olivia puts on her black Natori kimono and trails behind him. Before exiting he pauses for a short second and turns around.

"Liv you didn't have to get up and walk me out. I'm sorry again for disturbing your sleep."

"It's fine I'm already awake and with the sun rising I guess it's better to get an early start," Olivia replied back. Fitz then leans down to give her a quick kiss goodbye before stepping out of her apartment with his agents in tow.

It's been almost two months since she exposed B613 and the events that resulted out of it from David's unfortunate death to her declining Mellie's offer to work back at the White House. Things seem to have settled down since then for most of them and some changes have also taken place. Quinn came to a conclusion to close QPA for good which didn't come out as a surprise to Huck and Abby given that it never really got off the ground in the first place. Together with Charlie, they both decided to purchase a townhouse in Fairfax as Quinn focuses on being a hands-on mother and partner. At the same time, the newly wedded couple together with Huck is now working on their new business venture of opening a recognized and ethical hacking service business. Although both ladies have come to an understanding after the incident with her father, Olivia knows that her relationship with Quinn will never be the same again. She's glad that they are at least cordial and that she's free to always pay a visit to her goddaughter when she's in the neighborhood. After David's passing, Olivia tried her hardest then to be there for Abby. For all the times that Abby showed up for her, it's time for her to return the favor. Occasionally Fitz joins them over dinner as long as it's okay with Abby which has happened twice and he would bring along with him some of Abby's favorites from the White House kitchen. During the past two months, someone from Abby's past paid a visit and it was none other than Leo. After offering his condolences and support, he mentioned that Sally Langston called his help for the network is looking for someone to head the communications department of her show. Leo thought Abby would be the perfect fit and pitch it to her. She agreed right away with no hesitation and is now the proclaimed "Chief of Staff" of Lovers and Liberty. It seemed like everyone is moving forward and finding their own footing post-White House and B613.

Then there's her, and Fitz, and whatever this thing is going on between the two of them.

It's been about ten minutes since Fitz left her apartment and Olivia finds herself still rooted in the same spot and staring at her closed front door. A couple of questions were starting to form in her mind – the same questions that keep on invading her brain. Usually, it starts with planning her schedule for the day. Now that she's no longer tethered to any work commitment Olivia fills her day with whatever hobby that fancies her from pilates to indoor cycling or sometimes dealing with more important matters such as what she plans to do with the OPA office. Does she recruit a new team and open a new firm? Have the place be rented out? She's also been receiving a high volume of various work offers from a teaching post in Georgetown to speaking invites. Eventual,ly though her mind always ends with questions surrounding Fitz: will he join her tonight for dinner? Will he sleepover at her place or does she go to the hotel?

 _What exactly is next for the two of them?_

The last question is where she always finds herself stuck and feeling uneasy. After the threat of imprisonment no longer looming over them and ending ties with the White House, things between her and Fitz basically remained the same. They meet up at her place or his hotel room and spend the night with each other a few times in a week or when he's not working overtime in the institute. Aside from that, there's really nothing else going on for them. When you put it that way it almost sound like they're in a friends with benefits situation. _Or more like exes with benefits rather_ , Olivia thinks. At first, she didn't give much thought about it because everything seemed fine but over time (and now that she has a lot of time in her hands) her mind would go overdrive and things start to become hazy. _Do they just go with the flow then with whatever this is?_ With the sun now fully up, Olivia decides to put all of these thoughts aside and proceeds with her day.

* * *

After two donors meetings and an update meeting with his team that ended up taking the entire afternoon, Fitz was mentally drained. It was a quarter past six and he and Marcus were going through what they accomplished for the day in his office. They were currently discussing one of the institute's main projects which is its expansion in the west coast area. With the DC office serving as the headquarters, they plan over the next few years to partner and open local organizations throughout the country. It is his dream for the foundation since its conceptualization to eventually have a solid network that bridges all of these organizations and hopefully even have members outside of the country.

"Well, it's almost time for me to get going soon. After my call tomorrow with the DA we will have more details for us to proceed on this," Marcus said as he starts packing his things upon seeing that it's a little past seven in his watch.

"Dinner date with Mellie?" Fitz inquired.

"Well it's date night and Mellie makes sure that we do it 3x a week or otherwise she'll start complaining about the _crown jewel of the American prison system_ as you fondly call it."

Fitz wasn't surprise to find out that Mellie and Marcus are back together and giving their relationship another go. In fact, he's happy about it especially for Mellie even after their disastrous marriage plus Marcus is good for her. A small part of him though sometimes wishes that in seeing how smooth it is for Marcus and Mellie in rekindling their relationship that he can say the same about his.

"Marcus…can I ask you something if it's alright"

"Okay shoot"

"You and Mellie are officially back together so you're both in a relationship right like as in boyfriend and girlfriend."

Marcus then starts to skeptically look at Fitz, "Do you happen to have a problem with it?"

"No of course not! It's just…what I'm trying to say is you both know what your relationship is and where it stands."

"Yeah obviously. Is this about you and Liv? Look man we don't often talk about our personal relations but it seems to me that you are trying to asses yours with mine and Mellie's relationship. First, off the two are incomparable and honestly thank God for that, no offence by the way, and secondly what seems to be the matter that's really bothering you. Did you and Olivia break up again?" Marcus then takes a look at him and sees his clearly troubled face. It reminded him of those nights when they were out in the front porch of his Vermont house.

"Can't really break up when you two aren't really in a relationship," Fitz mumbled and started looking down at the papers he's holding. Suddenly he thinks it's never really a good idea to dive into talking about something that's personal for it leaves him vulnerable.

"Wait what? I thought you two are on again for a while now. If you two are not back together then what do you guys do then when you're with each other? Wait, forget that I even asked about that as I clearly do not want to know the obvious answer."

Fitz is now starting to feel self-conscious by their conversation and wishes that Marcus moves quickly and heads off to his dinner date with Mellie instead. Before Marcus he never really had anyone to talk to about his thoughts on his relationship with Liv and it's something that he was used to keeping to himself.

"Post-Breakup Grey Area" Marcus stated while Fitz looks up at him with a clearly confused expression.

"That's what they call this thing is. The two of you are not really together but also not completely broken up due to…well let's say intimate relations with one another."

"So it's basically friends with benefits."

"No, it's definitely not. This one is more complicated than that. Both parties know what they're getting into in a friends with benefits situation and there are boundaries. Look I have to cut this pow wow of sorts short as I'm running late to my date. So good night and see you tom."

After Marcus departure, Fitz decides to stay for a little longer and do some paperwork to avoid internalizing the conversation that just took place. It's very easy for him to lose sight of things and especially himself whenever it comes to Olivia. The moment he starts thinking about her, it's not too long before he finds himself in a black hole strained with his fears and insecurities along with flashes of painful memories from the past. Truthfully it's an everyday battle to keep his emotions at bay and not let his monster-sized insecurities take control over him.

From the corner of his eye, he noticed his phone screen lit up. He grabbed it to read the message and to find out from who it was. It was from her. _Hi. I'm thinking of getting Gettysburger for dinner. Do you want anything from there too? Have you had dinner?_ Fitz stared at it for a while thinking of what to respond back. It's usually Olivia who initiates their "meet ups" to put it lightly that typically ends with them hooking up either at her place or his hotel suite. Ever since _that night around Christmas,_ he only initiates contact with her only when it's necessary and for professional matters. With this whole stop and restart thing that they're doing, he still doesn't attempt to make any first moves.

After Olivia's tearful admission of feeling that she's the problem, he thought he would get to hear more from her about it and hoped that they are on the path to moving on once the threat of imprisonment was lifted. Instead, they never revisited it and carried on with their elusive and complicated setup. He thought that maybe Liv wasn't ready to talk about it or maybe she has gotten over it. After learning things the hard way, Fitz never brought it up as well. He let things be instead of facing the most likely painful outcome to occur had he urged her to talk more about it.

 _Post breakup grey area._ Fitz opened his laptop and started looking up over what Marcus said. He thought perhaps it would clear his mind after knowing more about it.

He was wrong.

About twenty minutes into his research he feels that his mind is starting to spin. None of the articles he read had anything good to say about it.

 _"Welcome to the Grey Area._

 _The Grey Area is much worse than being friend zoned, much more than friends with benefits, and much more complex than fuck buddies. To be in the Grey Area is to be in an undefined relationship limbo that inevitably leads to having your heart ripped apart time and time again…but you keep going back because there is no closure …_ _When you hit the gray area and one of you is more in love than the other, the one with the greatest need will suffer the most"_

The last line definitely spoke to him. He wanted to quickly close the browser and shut down his laptop but somehow he finds himself searching for more articles and reading what he can find until he was back in a puddle of questions that always lingered in his mind: _is she really back or is he just involved in "a long goodbye" and delaying the inevitable?_

 _"In a nutshell, the grey area means both people are holding on to the relationship without the title and, most importantly, since the relationship is "finished," the rules and boundaries that applied while in the relationship no longer apply…Being in this not-dating-but-basically-still-dating situation carries with it the huge potential of making both people hate each other._

 _Since your ex is still very much in the picture, you don't want to officially add someone else to your roster. The grey area gives you hope things could get better between you two. You have a desire to see things through with your ex, and since history is in his or her favor, it's hard for a new person to come in and sweep you off your feet._

 _The grey area muddies the water to the point of both parties feeling confused, hurt and angry. There are no clear expectations and rules, which is a perfect setup for disappointment. You start to play games and manipulate the situation to see how much the other party cares, which is damaging to both of you. Your initial breakup was bad enough, but now you both have driven what's left of the relationship to a complicated wreck that neither of you know how to fix. Breakups seem so final and terrifying, which is why so many of us stay in this grey area for as long as possible so as to ease our pain. While in the grey area, we don't realize we are beating a dead horse."_

Feeling tired and confused, Fitz shuts down his laptop and decides to call it a day. Right now he was definitely in need of a drink or two to ease his mind. With that, he grabs his phone and went to his personal stash to pour himself a glass of whiskey.

* * *

It's been a while now and Olivia still hasn't gotten any reply back from Fitz. Her nerves were starting to kick in as the minute increases. She tells herself that he must be busy given today's series of meetings and most likely hasn't been paying attention to his phone. Suddenly she feels her phone vibrate on the coffee table and she quickly grabs it to read his reply.

 _Thanks for asking Liv but it looks like I'll be working overtime tonight. I'm sorry that I can't join you._

Olivia puts her phone back on the table and suddenly feels that she no longer has the appetite to order from her favorite fast food joint. She shuts down her tv and sat in silence for a minute before heading to the kitchen to acquaint herself with her regular go to nightly companions: a huge bowl of popcorn and a bottle of red.

* * *

A/N: Hi everyone this is my very first fanfic attempt (ever!) and it's something that I've been meaning to do for awhile especially after the series finale. I've been wanting to write my take on Olivia and Fitz story in a post scandal world and one that I feel is close to their canon characterization. I would love to know what you guys think and feel free to comment just remember to always keep it constructive. Thanks for reading and I'm excited to take on this ride with you guys!

ps. The articles about the post breakup grey area are from elitedaily and though catalog. They were helpful to me when I was trying to figure out olitz when watching the show back then.


	2. Mortlach

"Flynn, I think a month is already pushing it..yeah yeah I know it's been awhile since I last visited. Look Flynn I have to go but these data you shared with us are really a big help for our eventual expansion there. I'll have Marcus coordinate with your assistant for further details. See you soon and say hi to George for me. Yes I'll keep in touch. Bye and take care."

"You'll be gone for more than a month?" Marcus inquires after Fitz finished his phone call.

"One month max despite Flynn's protests and nothing more. Don't worry Marcus I'm sure you'll handle things here perfectly. Remember what we both agreed on. You start heading the east coast expansion as I tackle the west starting with California and then midway we reconvene," Fitz explained in response.

He was on the phone with Flynn, his cousin-in-law and one of California's well-known lawyers. Flynn Archibald is married to Fitz's younger cousin Georgina. The two guys met while in law school and belonged to the same section. With the professors often mixing up their names due to its similar sound and structure, the two back then would sometimes joke and take up the name of the other. They got along right off the bat and were constantly hanging out with each other even more so when Flynn started dating his cousin Georgina or George for short.

"Flynn will relay your email to his assistant Rebecca and she will email the rest of the research data."

"So will you be staying with him and your cousin? I would need to know your accommodation plans as well in case something here comes up so I know where to contact you if ever your personal phone can't be reached."

"Well, he and George insist so I guess so plus I no longer have any property in Santa Barbara for reasons you know why. Also it makes sense given that it's the central location right smack in between our target Northern office in Santa Clara and Southern Office in San Jose. It will be my home base of sorts when I'm not traveling."

"Looks like you've already planned this out. You're still set on looking into leaving two weeks from now right?" Marcus asked while looking at the calendar app on his phone.

"Right in two weeks so we still have enough time to map out how things will go here with you holding down the fort," Fitz replied back.

"Alright, I'll head back to my office and check up on my email in case Rebecca already sent the data. By the way please don't forget to tell Mellie as well of your travel plans. While our 'situation' is unique given the history between you two, it's just downright weird man to be her point person for your whereabouts no matter how much of a dead marriage it was." Marcus said while shaking his head on his way out.

Fitz chuckled at the last sentence and went back to his desk. Today was quite a slow one as there weren't any meetings lined up except for his voice call with Flynn. It was almost three in the afternoon and he was catching up on some emails. After going through his inbox he wonders what else he can do to kill some time before he heads out of the office. He opened his browser and started looking for some places he can stay in for his upcoming trip. Although George said he was more than welcome to occupy their guesthouse for the whole duration, he still wanted to have some alternatives. He was in the middle of bookmarking some places when a title of an article he pinned not so long ago caught his eye: _Can't Let Go: Why Hanging On To Your Ex Keeps You In The Grey Area._ He remembered bookmarking it on the night that he was doing his 'research' because in it the author shared her own experience. In a weird way he found it comforting to know that he's not alone and that someone was penning his thoughts out for the world to see. But just like all the others that he read they all say the same thing: it never ends well and that it is most especially harmful for ex-couples because It will only produce more anxiety and heartache than it ever did. He then thought of what Marcus said about the difference between being in a casual relationship and this so called grey area. From what he has gathered, the former is a better situation to be in compared to the latter. It then got him into thinking that just maybe that works best for both of them given everything that happened. It appears to be something that is _easy, safe, and convenient_. There's a nagging voice inside of him though telling him that he was fooling himself into thinking that he can really just be friends with benefits with the love of his life. Can he really do it?

 _How did I get here_? The irony that without the weight of his then dead marriage and a presidential run that he never truly wanted, he would still find him asking the same question years later.

He looked back briefly at their almost decade long relationship and then realized that at this point he should actually consider himself lucky that he still gets to be in her orbit no matter how little after all the fuck-ups that they endured – with some or if not most came from his end. Given his pattern of fucking things up especially after his last fatal mistake almost two years back, he shouldn't even expect anymore to be given any chances so for her to even allow him to be in her life in some way is a privilege. Maybe he's being too greedy by asking for more beyond it.

 _Fuck it._

The truth of the matter is that Fitz can't go on without her so even if he only has these nights with her then that's better than none or being in a state of exile. Before he finds himself getting lost in his thoughts once again, he hears some noise coming from the main conference room. He steps out his office and heads towards it to see what's going on only to find the subject that was occupying his mind.

* * *

"Olivia, this is a surprise. What are you doing here? " Fitz asked clearly stunned at seeing her to be in the institute out of nowhere – and appears to be handing out some treats to his staff.

"Hi. Well I was just in the area and decided to pop by. Actually I just came from a meeting in Georgetown. I hope I'm not getting in the way of anything but the receptionist said that you're free and in your office...if not I was planning to drop these off and leave," Olivia answered back a bit timidly. The morning after Fitz declined her invitation, Olivia kept on telling herself to not make a big deal out of it. _It just so happened that he was really busy and couldn't make time outside of work. Besides why should she stress over something so insignificant when they're not…not even a couple in the first place._

"It's Friday so today has been quite lax and you know you're always welcome around here. I see you brought something with you?"

Olivia smiled at him while distributing the boxes of cupcakes to his associates. "Well on the way I thought of bringing something with me as a token of appreciation for helping me out awhile back."

"Thanks, Liv we appreciate the gesture," he smiled back. "Alright, guys I hope you don't forget to thank Olivia here plus you all can leave early starting at four as we're done for the week. Enjoy the weekend." Fitz said to everyone before proceeding back to his office with Olivia following him behind.

"Oh by the way since you're one of those that never really developed a sweet tooth, I drop by Peet's as well and got you your favorite. Cold-brew in their signature Bardi Blend."

"Only the best brew in DC. Thanks, Liv" Fitz grabs his drink and gives her a kiss. She wasn't expecting _that_ from him especially since they never really dabbled into the waters of public affection but it made her smile and she kisses him back as well before dropping her Prada in one of the lounge chairs.

"So anything else that brings you here aside from dropping those off? You mentioned that you were in Georgetown prior to going here."

She didn't feel like going home after her business in Georgetown since it was still bright outside and a few hours before sunset. With the institute just a couple of blocks down, she thought to herself to simply visit and drop by just because why not. "Well I've been in talks with them for awhile now. Earlier I met up with the faculty director to discuss about the program they're inviting me to look into teaching which is the Master's Program in Public Relations and Corporate Communications. If ever I'm going to teach one class of my choosing and I also get to choose if I want to start this incoming Fall class which is in about two weeks or for Spring of next year."

"That sounds really great Liv and they will definitely be lucky to have you. Is it something that you want to do though?"

"I think this is an okay start although teaching never really crossed my mind as of recent it's not like I'm jumping full time right into it. Right?" Olivia said while going around in circles.

"Olivia, what seems to be the matter?" Fitz inquired. He sensed something was off the moment he starts seeing her go around in circles.

Olivia stopped pacing and for a moment was contemplating sharing what was really on her mind. "It's just that...well I looked into the student profile and based on the data majority are girls in their twenties like some are fresh out of college. I just…you remember what happened with Alisha and what her dad said. Fitz what if the parents of these girls…"

"Liv, hey, look at me. What happened to Alisha was not your fault and her father at that time while grieving was projecting his anguish to you. None of it was your fault. You know what, as a parent, I would be glad to know that my daughter is learning from the best in the business." Fitz said back as he attempts to reel Olivia out of her guilt.

"If I was one of the parents I would think 'oh look, my daughter is getting tips on how to be America's future first mistress straight from the source'. Fitz these girls are around my age when I was in law school like years before I ran your campaign."

"Look Liv these girls are here to learn from the best during times of managing a crisis and what a better way to learn than from someone who was actually a crisis and prevailed through it. Someone who faced the crowd and in the end still came out on top." Fitz countered back as he tries to stir her in seeing the good of this opportunity. In spite of everything he's been through, his idealism that he shares with the people around him still remains. It was one of those things that both smitten and madden Olivia – his innate nature of seeing the world in rose-colored glasses. To her she saw it as both his strength and weakness. At times it was this ineffable aura in him that can uplift people's spirit while on the other hand it can also be a hindrance that blocks him from being cognizant to the reality of this world.

She gives him a small smile in return before proceeding cautiously with her other reason on why she's here. "So Abby was at my place earlier this week and she left with me something that I think you would like, a very rare bottle of Mortlach 1954. Would you wanna try it out later?" She asked him coyly and then immediately looked down at the floor to avoid his gaze as she waits for his response. There are just so many spaces she feels in between them like constantly finding herself in new territory ever since…ever since they started with this sort of undefined dalliance a year ago.

"Seriously you have a bottle of Mortlach and one that is over 50 years? I definitely wanna grab my hands on that later. I still have-", he was then interrupted by his phone suddenly ringing. "Liv I'm sorry but I have to take this call and it may take awhile."

"It's okay. I'll hang around in Marcus office to give you some privacy," Olivia said and steps out of his office.

* * *

"Way better than Georgetown's in my honest opinion. The cupcakes there are overrated and that's what I keep on telling the interns here. Baked & Wired is where it's at." Marcus hummed to himself while munching on a coconut cupcake.

"Well, Georgetown is more for tourists while the locals tend to flock more towards baked & wire. Their cupcakes are also much moister and while the consistency is denser compared to your typical fluffy cupcake it works well with their flavors. They also have perfected the frosting to cake ratio – not overdone, creamy, and just the perfect amount of sweet. The dirty chai is my go-to." While finishing her cupcake, Liv senses that Marcus was looking at her weirdly.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?"

"No, it's just weird hearing you describe a cupcake in so much detail in the same way you would describe a case. Who would have thought that the formidable Olivia Pope has the case of a sweet tooth." Marcus explained while looking at her as if she's grown another head.

"Everyone loves cupcakes, Marcus," Liv said back while rolling her eyes at him

"Everyone except Fitz apparently who only goes for fruits with a huge exception of –"

"Bananas", they both said at the same time and laughed about it.

Olivia noticed a stack of folders on his desk beside his laptop and out of curiosity wanted to ask what cases they are currently working on. "So looks you like you have a lot of cases on your plate. What are you guys currently dealing with? Also, you know I'm more than happy to help out if ever."

"Well yes we have quite a number of cases but the associates are managing it well. Actually, these over here are for the institute's expansion plans. With Fitz upcoming trip, this project is currently what's taking up a lot of our time," Marcus replied.

"Upcoming trip?" Olivia asked clearly bemused at hearing this information but at the same time tried to downplay her reaction.

"Yeah, you know his trip to California where he'll be staying for almost a month. The one that he has been planning on for some time now with Flynn his cousin-in-law there." Marcus further explained while oblivious to Olivia not knowing anything about this development.

"Right. Right California of course and yeah Flynn I remember him." _One month? He has been planning for some time now to travel to the other side of the country and be there for a month?_

"Since we only have two weeks left before his target departure, we are trying to get as much work to be done and at the same time make sure we cover all bases while he's away."

The more information Marcus shares, the harder it is becoming for Olivia to play it cool and not show any hint that she clearly knows nothing about this. _Was he ever going to tell her about this? Better yet should she have not expected for him to share his personal plans with her?_ Olivia tries to keep those swirling questions aside as she listens to what Marcus is saying.

"So the west coast area is his first target and it make sense since he's from there and the connections he has over there is massive. While at the same I focus here in the east. I'm thinking of starting south first like Atlanta and Florida. We're looking into doing north together due to his vast connections in New York and New England. Anyway that's basically where we at right now. Thank God it's the weekend because I really need a break from this project even just for a while. So any interesting weekend plans? You and Fitz planned something? Mellie wants for us well actually for me to spend some time with Teddy so it's movie night later"

"Umm no not really just same old like Sunday dinners with my dad and stuff. So you've met Teddy?" Olivia asked a little surprised that Marcus and Mellie appears to be taking things to next level.

"I've already met the kid a couple of times plus I had dinner with Mellie and the kids recently. You know to properly get know them since I am dating their mom." Marcus replied casually back to Liv.

"That's great. Really great Marcus" Liv said back while trying to appear nonchalant over the conversation that's been taking place.

"What is it?"

"What do you mean?"

"You have that look on your face Liv. Just spit it out already. What is it that you want to say or ask?" He looks at her and clearly sees that there is something troubling her that she's not saying.

"Nothing I was just –"

"Liv you ready to go? My call is done. Oh, and I got to convince Luther for me to drive your car and they will follow closely behind." Fitz said as he appeared outside of Marcus office door with his stuff and ready to leave. She noticed the hint of excitement in his voice on the opportunity of getting to be behind the wheel. He and Luther don't meet eye to eye about it but in the end, he gets his way as long as it will only be a short drive.

"Oh yeah, we were just finished talking. Marcus, it was nice catching up with you and enjoy your weekend."

"I thought you said you have no plans for the weekend," Marcus snarkily remarked as Liv gets ready to leave.

"We're hanging out in my place. That's only it okay. Bye." With that Olivia quickly exits his office. Upon reaching Fitz she interlocked her hand with his as they exited the building together.

"Those two are really complete idiots," Marcus said to himself while shaking his head and watching the two leave the institute.

* * *

A trail of clothes can be seen scattered on the floor. It starts near the coffee table where an almost empty bottle of whiskey was sitting on top of it. There's a blue polo shirt by the foot of the table followed by a burgundy blazer nearby and the line of clothes at sight goes on until it reaches the bedroom door. The door was half open and a soft warm yellow light was coming from the room as it bounces to the darkly lit hallway. Sounds of heavy moans and grunts can be loudly heard as well as cries of curses that would make a sailor blush.

"Oh fuck…harder"

"God baby you're so fucking tight"

With her legs wrapped around his waist and their hands interlocked with one another above their heads, they were both lost and deep in their bubble as Fitz thrusts into her. Inch by delicious inch, she loves having his weight on top of her as she squeezes him further and further. Her cries of pleasure can be heard all over the place not giving a damn if anyone can hear.

"Don't stop. You fuck me so good baby," she rasped out as the pleasure of being filled by him takes over her. Wanting to go deeper, Fitz grabbed both of her legs and placed them on his shoulders. The change in position had her throwing her head back and screaming loudly.

"Shit Fitz, I'm not going to last long oh God"

"You like that baby?" He growled into her ear and biting her earlobe before kissing her feverishly. "Mmm, you feel so good. I'm so close, baby make me cum," Olivia moaned in between kisses while grabbing a hold of his wild curls. He continued pounding into her as they both worked towards her climax. He was getting lost in her cries of pleasure and the tremors that their lovemaking was sending throughout out his body.

 _You're really fucking whipped_

For a short second, he thought he heard something but then quickly shakes that thought away as he continued thrusting into her walls. He leaned back to get a better angle and started increasing his pace. He feels her walls start to clench around him signaling that she's near her release. "Fitz, I'm so close. Baby, I'm going to cum", Olivia cried out as she dig her nails deep into his back and inching closer to the edge of desire.

 _Damn, she was right. You really make it so easy especially for her. Remember when she said that? No wonder she always ends up leaving you. You're a lost cause trying to beat this dead horse of a relationship._

There's that inner voice again more clearly this time but he can't figure from whom the voice belongs to. He refuses heatedly to let it get into him – this monster that was starting to snarl at him. Trying to put his focus and energy back on Olivia, he closes his eyes and pumped into her faster the more he feels her tighten around him. He was almost fucking her into oblivion while trying to avoid that nagging voice inside until he was hearing nothing but her cries and screams.

"Oh God I'm cumming!" she exclaimed and started shaking violently with her legs falling to his sides.

"Fuck yes baby come for me." He grunted and brought one of his hands in between their bodies to rub at her bundled of nerves causing her to cry out loud in ecstasy. Olivia could feel a new wave of arousal coming in despite still in the midst of climaxing. Trying to find his release, he was rapidly thrusting into her and at the same time increased the speed of his fingers on her clit. "Oh fuck Fitz! I can't baby! I'm gonna come again! Fuck I'm gonna come!" Olivia screamed and let out a high pitch mewl as she feels another tidal wave cresting in again. He felt her hot juices coming out of her and the combination of it with her tight muscles milking him overwhelmed his senses that it caused him to bite on her shoulder to the point of almost breaking the skin. He gave a few rapid-fire thrusts before grunting out loud and finally spilling his seed inside of her. Olivia continued to shiver underneath him feeling the aftershocks of her powerful orgasm while Fitz peppered her neck and whatever skin his lips would find with frantic kisses.

"Oh god that was amazing. I'm completely spent. That drink must have really done a number on you huh." Olivia teased while catching her breath and with a smile on her face. Her intense orgasm eventually subsided and she opened her eyes hoping to look into his blue orbs. He was still panting loudly at her neck with his eyes shut tight. "Fitz? Fitz you okay? Don't tell me your old age is finally catching up on you." She further teased him and nudged his head with her shoulder. Fitz slowly got up and finally opened his eyes to find her love drunk gaze on him. Once her brow orbs met with his blue eyes her smile slowly started to fade upon seeing him looking a bit distraught and like trying to make sense of what just happened as he looks around. "Fitz are you alright?" she quickly asked and palmed his cheek to calm him somehow. He turned his head towards her and saw a bit of worry in her eyes. He took her hand that is on his cheek and kissed her palm before putting it back where it was. "I feel good. What about you?" he said as he soften his gaze at her. "Well I just had the best sex of my life so I feel pretty great and deliciously tired but great," she answered back with a giggle. He puts his finger under her chin pulling her face up to meet his and started kissing her slowly. He tugged her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to let his tongue slipped in as they began passionately kissing each other and getting lost once again in the bubble.

 _Of course ,she'll say that and you always fall for them hook line and sinker_

* * *

Hey guys! First off thank you so much for the warm welcome and comments. I enjoyed reading through them. Secondly yes this story is heavy on angst after all this is canon olitz and I do hope that my writing of them is close to the one we watched over the past seven seasons. Hope you all enjoy this update xx


	3. Glen Grant

It was Sunday night and that automatically means weekly dinners with her dad where she just came from in one of DC's fine-dining French restaurants. It so happened that the restaurant her dad picked was the one at the hotel where Fitz is staying. While waiting for the main course, Olivia sent him a message saying that she's at his hotel and asked if he's currently in his suite. It didn't take long to get a reply from him simply saying that she can go to his room once her dinner with her dad is finished.

Dinner was basically just the same like the previous ones over the past month or two after Rowan helped her and her friends out. The first dinner was weird and awkward for them in this post B613 era. After what felt like asking each other twenty questions starting with "Hi. How are you?" down to what TV shows they are currently watching. What really broke the ice was discussing what happens now that B613 is no longer at the forefront. From there, these dinners were able to transitioned smoothly and started to feel normal for both.

"How do you find their coq au vin?" Rowan asked midway into enjoying their main dish.

"This is really good. Very well done," Olivia replied with a smile on her face as she sliced another piece.

"Isn't this the hotel where Fitz is staying at by the way or have you two been living together? If he's still here why didn't you invite him with us? " At the mention of his name, Olivia dropped her fork and knife as she started to skeptically eye her dad for bringing him up so casually and even more so for asking why she didn't ask him to join them.

"What do you want?" It was evident by the tone of her voice the sudden change of her mood.

"Olivia, what else do you think I would want now that everything is behind us? The White House and B613 are out of the picture. The man that you claimed is the one that you truly loved is obviously still a part of your life and since there are no signs of things being over then I as your dad would have to actually deal with the man in my daughter's life." Rowan responded while looking at her straight in the eye to make it clear that he's not up for games.

"We are not living together dad. That relationship has been over for some time now," Olivia replied back as she picked up her fork and knife again and makes herself appear busy with her dish. Her father didn't press further on the topic and stirred the conversation back to what they were discussing prior to bringing up his name.

Yet here she is now by the door of his hotel suite and waiting for him to open it. Upon opening, she quickly threw herself at him almost making him stumble a little as he tries to gain his balance of catching her with one hand while holding his glass of scotch with the other and placing it down on the credenza by the entrance. She quickly led him to the bedroom while getting rid of each other's clothing along the way.

"Liv wait…ugh fuck…baby stop I want… I want to finish inside of you."

Olivia was too caught up in a haze to listen to his pleas as she continues to take more of him inside her mouth, wanting to take control and be in charge of this moment. It's not often that she gets to be in this position as this has always been his area and although she is more than happy to be the recipient of his mind-blowing superpowers, seeing the tables turned and hearing his grunts and moans gives her as much pleasure as well.

"Oh shit. Fuck Liv come here," he choked as he tried to grab her shoulders. Olivia released him with a pop to see him leaning back against the shower wall with his eyes closed and his face obviously conflicted between holding his orgasm and wanting to let go. She was fisting his length while her tongue circles his tip before she took a deep breath and took him in her mouth again going deeper this time as far as she could.

"Ugh fuck," Fitz grunted loudly as he holds on to her hair and feels her bobbing her head while fisting him at the base. She could feel him getting close and the sensation of her sucking him is causing him to start thrusting. Wanting to feel him cum in her mouth, she starts to pick up the pace, sucking him into oblivion and balls deep prompting more groans and a slew of curses out of him. Hearing his deep moans was starting to make her feel her arousal rise as well encouraging her to go faster and deeper until she can feel him pulsate and prepares to receive all of his cum. He was thrusting frenziedly into her and finally he lets go as he starts pumping his creamy goodness. Once he was done spilling all of his creamy release, he looks down to see her swallow every drop and making sure that she is taking it all. He hears her moaning as she swallows and licks all of his cream. Sensing that she was looking for her own release as well, he quickly picks her up to her surprise and positions her against the wall as he slides into her. Olivia moaned out loudly at the sudden feel of him followed swiftly by Fitz kissing her passionately and swallowing the rest of her moans. She kissed him back with equal fervor as she grips his strong muscular back tightly while he slides in and out of her. His strokes were quick while kissing her deeply and she can feel her arousal climbing to its peak and threatening to explode anytime soon. They both stopped kissing to get a hold of their breath as they thrust faster and faster while heavy erratic pants and her small cries fill the room that is covered in steam coming from the hot shower.

"Oh God Fitz," Olivia whimpered out as she clings on to him tightly and cries into his mouth as she feels his strokes go deeper and harder.

"Let go for me," he commanded authoritatively as he can feel her tightening around him and sense that her orgasm is rounding the corner. Her body trembled, her moans were fuller, and her nails were digging deep into his nape.

"Harder baby I'm almost there. Don't stop."

He brings one of his hands down between their bodies to rub her throbbing nub causing her to release a scream. With a couple more quick thrusts combined with the sensation of his fingers, her body starts to convulse followed by her moans turning into growls as her orgasm began to take over.

"Oh, God...Oh God, I'm cumming." She came screaming with her eyes rolling back at the intense pleasure.

Without warning, he pulls out making her yell a string of loud expletives as he quickly sinks to his knees and latches his mouth on her. At the feel of his tongue, she lets out another high pitch scream as he sucks and licks her while lifting her up and bringing both of her legs to his shoulders. The combination of everything intensified her pleasure as he prolonged her climax.

After two more rounds, the pair finally started to clean up and finish their shower. While Fitz was putting on the bathroom robe on Olivia and securing it by tightening the belt, he heard his phone ring. "Liv just a minute. I'll be back" She quickly nods in response as Fitz strides out of the bathroom to attend to his call. Thankful that she always brings in her stash some of her hair care regimen products in those travel-sized compartments, she starts applying her hail oils. She can overhear his phone call taking place and while she can't clearly make out all of it, her attention was caught when she heard him mention that he'll be in Santa Barbara pretty soon and that he looks forward to it. Grabbing her comb, Olivia steps out into the bedroom and sees him sitting on the foot of the bed. She immediately assumes that it's Flynn who's on the other line as she settles on one side of the bed.

"Yeah my ETA is around sunset. Oh don't even bother about that anymore Flynn. I'll just go straight to your house after I land. Yes I'm sure I'll be fine. Right now? I'm just getting ready to rest for another work week."

As Olivia watched and listened, she then steps out to grab the bottle of scotch he was drinking earlier and grabs two glasses before returning back to the bedroom. It wasn't lost on her his vague reply when he was probably asked on what he was doing at present or if he has company. She quickly brushed it off her mind by thinking that it was no big deal. By the time she situated herself back in bed with her drink on hand, Fitz was about to end his call.

"Scotch?" Olivia asked as he handed out the other glass to him.

"Thanks, Liv." He picks it up and takes a sip before putting his phone down to where it was charging.

"Were you just talking to Flynn? Your cousin's husband?" Olivia casually asked to not appear inquisitive about it.

"Oh yeah, that was Flynn. Wow, you still remember him." Fitz replied in response as he takes another sip.

"Well of course…he and Georgina you know when we were campaigning in Santa Barbara. By the way, Marcus mentioned to me when I visited the institute that you'll be heading to California soon." She decided to bite the bullet instead and directly ask him about it since she can't tell if Fitz was ever going to share with her his upcoming trip there.

"Yes, actually that was what the phone call was about. Flynn is helping us out for our plans of expanding the institute there."

"That sounds great Fitz,"

"Thanks. It's something I'm really looking forward to." Fitz smiled at her comment as he finishes his drink.

"So when do you fly out?" Olivia further delved now that he was more or less sharing details about it to her.

"This coming Friday after I settle some work stuff and finalize things with Marcus." She simply nodded in response while sipping her drink over hearing this information. Wanting to appear cool with it, she takes the bottle beside her and asks him if he wants another. He declined instead saying that he's good for the night.

"So how was dinner with your dad?" He asked while toweling dry his wet curls in the bathroom.

"Just same old typical Sunday dinner"

"Gee thanks for sharing so much Liv."

"Fitz I'm not really in the mood to talk about my dad. Besides there's really nothing to share." Olivia rolled her eyes in response as she places her drink down beside her.

"Okay, so what are you in the mood to talk about then?" He came back in the bedroom and she can't help but eye the towel that was hanging quite low and brings them up to his chiseled defined abs. It's completely ridiculous how a man in his fifties has a body that would beat those who are half his age. Slowly she meets his eyes and sees them turn a dark shade of grayish-blue. She gets up from her seat, unties the belt of her robe, and approaches him as she answers his question back.

" _I'm in the mood to not exactly talk"._

* * *

Even at its languorous state, he always loved the sounds of the waves crashing. The harmonious tide of it was a welcome retreat to him even if it felt warm to his skin given that it's the peak of summer. Surfing was always the cornerstone of Santa Barbara culture and from the moment he learned how to swim, he jumped in right away to learn how to catch his first wave. Fitz back then always thought that once he has fulfilled his father's predetermined life for him at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave that he'll be back home to this cozy beach town. That was of course before that one fateful day on February in New Hampshire when a tornado stormed into his life that was ornamented by the California sun prior to meeting _her_.

"Well it's getting close to noon now and I don't think we will be catching any more waves at this point."

"That's because you picked Hope Ranch instead of heading up north which you know is the spot to go to during the summer season."

"Well hey, now Mr. President I'm just being a law-abiding citizen here and making sure that I'm following protocol. We don't want to get ourselves into a scandal do we should anything happen to you on my watch. "

Fitz chuckled to Flynn's remarks as both of them have been sitting on their boards for a while now and waiting for the next ride. He landed yesterday and Flynn right away suggested for them to hit the beach upon seeing how pale he was and far from California's golden boy with a good set of hair.

"Flynn it's less strict now since I'm no longer the president and fewer agents are with me," Fitz said as he started paddling back to the shore.

"Yeah, I guess. Okay if you go back here during fall or near winter then we will definitely hit El Capitan." Flynn replied.

By the time they hit the shore, Flynn informed him that Georgina sent a text message stating for the two of them to start heading back to Montecito where he and George resides. As the pair started to get out of their wet suits he couldn't help but tease Fitz as he spotted some of the beachgoers that were obviously ogling at him.

"Hmm looks like we have an audience here. Happen to be on the lookout for the next Mrs. Grant?"

"Whatever Flynn and besides they're looking at you as well." Standing at 6'5" tall and blessed with his poster-boy looks, Flynn Archibald looks like every bit of a classic Ivy League prepster. His tanned skin though now makes him look more like a California dreamboat over Fitz given that he came from Rhode Island and only moved to the west coast after marrying George.

"Umm newsflash Mr. President, the residents here know that I'm happily married while you, on the other hand, are one of America's most eligible bachelors." He flashed to him his wedding band while Fitz rolled his eyes back at him.

"Whatever let's go now Flynn before George gets annoyed at us. You know she hates waiting" With that he picked up his board and started moving to his SUV with Flynn following behind.

* * *

With her Prada bag on one hand, Olivia enters the institute as she sets out to approach Marcus for a possible case that she would like to pitch to him. As she proceeds to ask the secretary if he was free she heard someone call her name appearing to be shocked to find her here.

"Oh, Ms. Pope! Hi! Oh, are you looking for President Grant? He's out on a business trip but waits I'll tell Sir Marcus that you are here. "

"Hi, Blair yes I was informed that President Grant will be out of town for awhile. I'm here to see Marcus actually." Olivia calmly replied to the blonde early twenty-something who is obviously fresh out of college and still, doe-eyed in her first real job.

"Oh sorry. You can go straight ahead into his office as he is not meeting anyone right now."

"It's alright Blair and thank you. See you around." Olivia then proceeded to find Marcus who was busy looking at his laptop screen and at some of the papers scattered on his desk.

"Busy case?" Liv remarked as she stands by his office door.

"Oh hey Liv. This is quite a surprise. These are actually for the expansion and right now I'm in the middle of going through Fitz's emails. So what's up?" He motioned for her to take a seat as he closed down his laptop. She took out a folder from her bag and handed it to him as she takes her seat.

"I just met up with an old acquaintance, an old client of OPA actually. That right there was what our meeting was about and I think it is something that fits here. It concerns the transgender group and I just feel like it's something this institute could need."

"Alright let's look into this. Have you shared this with Fitz? Does he know about this case?" Marcus asked as he skims through the contents of the folder.

"Well actually no because I was assuming you be the one to pitch it to him which is why I came here."

"You know you could email this to him or call him up" He side-eye her a bit as he looked up from the folder and tries to read her face.

Not wanting for this conversation to take an awkward route, Olivia hold on to her poker face as she responded back. "Marcus I think this is the right way for things to get done and to be professional about it." Instead of further probing into this, Marcus decided to forego with what was on his mind and went back to reading the case on hand. The last thing he wants is to get in between the very obvious messy and complicated relationship status of Fitz and Olivia.

"Right. _Professional_. So what do we have here and how can we help?"

* * *

It's been a week since his arrival in Santa Barbara. The sound of the ocean in the background was now becoming normal to him and it was always something that he misses from this place. Things are going according to plan with him and Flynn having already scouted the potential north and south office to represent California. His days were mostly busy from working on things from the ground up to catching up on what's going in the institute and with the kids that by the time night came it, he wants nothing more than to hit the sheets and be dead to world. He's thankful for it he guesses as it keeps his mind busy.

"Everyone around us was really expecting that we'd be renewing our vows and holding this grand ceremony for our silver anniversary like seriously as if this is their marriage you know. So I told Flynn, screw it l don't want to plan any such frivolous things. Just take me to Lake Como and you can take me anywhere and anytime you want." Georgina laughingly said as she recounted to Fitz her and Flynn's recent wedding anniversary. The three are currently hanging out at the great room and enjoying some post-dinner drinks. Almost hitting fifty, the blue-eyed brunette still has that eternal youthful glow on her that is identical to the Grant charm that people would always comment about Fitz especially during his presidency. The couple has been sharing with Fitz ever since he arrived the happenings in their life from their recent twenty-fifth anniversary to the strange feeling of now having an empty nest given that their kids are either in college or are working.

"Easy on the drinks George I think you've had a little too much," Fitz chuckled to his cousin's story.

"Oh please don't tell me now that since you've become president you are suddenly all prim and proper here. We know you, Fitzgerald. Right babe?" She brings her glass to Flynn's as he clinks his with hers.

"By the way Fitz you're leaving at the end of August am I right? One of our friends from London is flying here to visit us on the second to the last week. She's also here for business just like you and I was hoping you get to meet her since it will be her first time here." Georgina commented before taking a sip of her drink

"Okay well, I'm leaving at the last week just in time before Teddy goes back to school."

"So Fitz what about you? How is it really now that you're no longer a president. I mean that must be a like huge shift for you. Also why Vermont? Didn't you ever consider moving back here like isn't this your home? Plus have you been dating? If not me and your cousin then have a row of fine single ladies that we would like you to meet" Fitz just stared at the two for a while after Flynn went on with his twenty questions.

"Woah there which question do you want me to answer?"

"We just want to know how you've been. I mean do you really think it will be all business here during your trip. Come on man it's been so long plus the last time you were here we barely got to really talk since it was right after your break—"

"Flynn" Georgina quickly halted him from continuing his train of thought, as she wasn't sure if it was something that Fitz is comfortable to hear. She doesn't really know the deal is when it comes to _her_ in his life.

"We just want to catch up with you Fitz. Umm so how are Teddy and Karen?" Flynn quickly changed the course of this conversation as to not wanting to taint the laid back atmosphere they were all having.

He caught what Flynn was about to say and he was grateful that George but in before it entered into uncharted territory. He quickly ignored it and shared a simple and short answer to the couple on his life's whereabouts. "Teddy and Karen are doing fine. Karen is busy finishing her major in Georgetown. I think she mentioned something about doing grad school after. Well I have just been busy with the institute really ever since my term ended plus you know the stuff with Mellie's presidency and helping her out a few months back."

"Oh, you mean the one that Olivia handled right. That B6…what was it..oh B6-13! Man, that shit we heard was crazy like the stuff that you would hear conspiracy theories be about." George couldn't help but shake her head over her husband's over-eagerness sometimes and tendency to overspill.

"Right. Right Flynn yeah that was handled." Fitz said as he finished he drink before standing up to get another bottle for them. Just when he was opening a new bottle of scotch, they overhear the late-night news on the television playing on the back mention his name. He sees that there was a photo of Olivia on screen. Beside her was a photo of a man who looks like in his mid to late forties and one who he knows is quite known around his political party. It was former congressman turned Senator Jacob Shaw. Below them was a copy saying that the two were spotted to be having lunch yesterday at The Lafayette that had people speculating if they were out on a date

"Well Eleanor the last we heard about Ms. Pope's love life was the whirlwind affair with former President Grant. I mean how can anyone forget about that? Remember that kiss that we all witnessed during his last day." With that they showed a photo of the said kiss on screen as the news anchors continued with the story.

"Actually Nate it seems like Ms. Pope's is still not seeing anyone romantically. We received a statement from Senator Shaw's camp saying and I quote 'Ms. Pope is an old acquaintance. I'm always thankful to her and her team for helping me out a couple of years back. We had a meeting per my request over some business matters. Given her expertise, I approached Ms. Pope knowing that she's one of the best in her line of profession.' So folks there you have it straight from Senator Shaw."

Fitz tried his very best to not show any reaction to what he just saw even when he knows that both Flynn and George are closely watching him. He almost feels like he is being monitored as they were waiting for him to say or do something and it's starting to make him feel uneasy.

"Well, his camp clarified that it was nothing but business between the two of them and it wasn't a date so it's –."

"Flynn can you just turn off the television" George requested, her annoyance over Flynn apparent after his supposed remark to break the ice.

"That was what the news said," Flynn mumbled to himself.

Fitz continued to not say anything and just finished the contents of his drink. He finds himself once again stuck between suppressing his feelings or letting a hundred of questions roam around his mind. After a minute of silence among the three, Georgina finally confronted him with something that she has been meaning to ask for some time now.

" _Fitz_ "

He looks up from his drink upon hearing his name. He can already tell by the look from his cousin's face just what the topic is going to be about. With that he gave her a slight nod to continue.

"What exactly… is there still something up between you and Olivia?" George calmly asked of him as she struggled quite a bit in finding the right words to say. He looked back at his drink and took a moment before giving an answer.

"I…I don't know I guess. I think no"

Upon sensing the hesitation in his response, George quickly took note that there is definitely more to this and that it's something that has been bothering her cousin greatly. "Fitz the last time you were, we know that it was a very very hard time for you. I know that you were not in a good place, which is why we avoided asking or talking about what happened." George looked at Flynn then back at Fitz before proceeding. "Since you got here I can't help but notice how you don't really share to me and Flynn about what's going on in your life. Most of what I hear from you is about work and don't get me wrong of course I'm happy about that for you. But outside of work, I don't really know who you are apart from being the former President and the scandals that we witnessed – Jerry unfortunately, the affair, Olivia, the divorce. What happened Fitz?

" _I love you. I'm in love with you too."_

 _"His murder won us the Presidential election…He dies so that we can stay in this white house for four more years"_

" _What's the one thing in the world you can't live without? How are you liking that war now sir?_

" _I fixed an election for you... If you gave up the presidency, what did I do all of this for? If you gave up the presidency it would be a waste!"_

" _You didn't save me! I'm on my own!"_

" _I want you. I want us."_

" _Every imaginable scenario, they all end with you Fitz! Don't you get it? You are the common denominator here… My life would have meant something if it wasn't for you"_

" _There is no us. There is no this. There's no Vermont. There's no jam. There's no future"_

" _Olivia will never go to Vermont for you"_

" _It's been a honor Mr. President."_

Memories of the good, the bad, and the ugly over the past almost decade flashed through his mind – a snippet on some of the things that happened, of words that defined him, and problems that he pushed at the very back of his mind. After a long hard pause, he looked back to Georgina and gave a reply that he feels accurately describes his state of mind.

"I don't know where to start on how I ruined everything."

* * *

A/N Hi everyone I know it took me quite some time to give an update. Aside from the many changes that happened to me during the last quarter of 2018 (like moving to my first apartment by myself!) I have to say that I almost lost inspiration with this story. The past couple of weeks, however, had me find my mojo back and here we are! For those who are confused on olitz current relationship status here, it's called a post-breakup grey area which is entirely different from being friends with benefits as Liv and Fitz never defined what they were doing ever since they started hooking up again in season 6. As for some who are having problems with this post canon version of Fitz, I feel like even though we have witnessed his character development in the latter seasons, I also want to address here the problems and issues he has with himself. While in the show we've seen him fix some areas in his life like his relationship with Mellie and his legacy post-presidency, Ep 703 has shown us that he still has a lot of personal demons (his daddy and olitz issues specifically) and can easily regress to the darkness.

I hope you guys enjoy reading through this update and I hope that I get to post the next one sooner. What do you guys think about Flynn and George? Those two will be mainstays in this ride. Excited to read all of your reviews and comments!


	4. Macallan Sherry Oak 12 (Part 1)

_As he approaches the heavily guarded room, his nerves were definitely all over the place. Each step closer has his mind going into haywire, 'Will this be another stupid mistake? Should he have just cancel this plan of his and flew straight back to DC instead? What was he expecting to get out of this?'_

 _Eventually, he stopped walking as he watches the guards unlock the doors for him to come face to face with the person on the other side._

" _When they informed me of your plan to visit, I must say I thought it was some kind of a sick joke because you are definitely one of the last people on earth that I would ever expect to see again."_

 **Three weeks earlier**

"This is weird," Fitz plainly said while looking down at the floor and staring at the Mediterranean printed tiles that adorned the room like it was the most fascinating thing on earth.

"Weird? Like how? Fitz, it's okay. You can say anything here. It's just me and George", Flynn eagerly commented as he looks at George to silently urge her to encourage his cousin to say more.

Georgina ignored his signals as she looks at Fitz and tries to gauge how he is. She has picked up the tense atmosphere around him quickly from the moment the news program uttered _her_ name. To Georgina, Olivia Pope was and still is one big mystery. All she knows is that it doesn't appear that her role in her cousin's life doesn't just start and ends as his former campaign manager, communications director, and _former mistress turned ex-girlfriend._

She briefly met Olivia during Fitz first presidential campaign when they were campaigning in his hometown here in Sta. Barbara and once again during Big Jerry's funeral. Right on the get-go, she saw a woman who is highly intellectual, sophisticated, and headstrong. Georgina had always admired women that are fearless and bold and Olivia definitely was one in her book. That was the only knowledge she had of her until she and together with the rest of the world heard the _scandal_ that shook the nation. There were rumors prior to it, with different girls and different names that Georgina would hear over the news cycle. Some she wondered if there was some truth to it while at the same time a part of her still thinks that Fitz would never step out of his marriage even when his and Mellie's marriage has become more like a business partnership over the years. Her and Mellie never got close nor would she ever consider the two of them as friends. She met her back when Fitz brought her as his date to one of the lavish dinners that Big Jerry would throw. While Mellie appeared to be the perfect girl on paper for Fitz to marry, there was something in her gut that was telling her that he was getting into this relationship because of Big Jerry's political plans for him and doing so would garner his approval. Almost a decade after, her gut turned out to be right when Fitz called her one night to confess that his marriage has been on the rocks and that it was starting to feel like a dead one. Still, during those few times that she and Fitz would get to talk, she thought that while he was stuck in a loveless marriage, he was still a man who would stay for the sake of the kids and the political career that he was groomed into.

Turns out she was wrong this time around.

While watching Olivia confirm the affair shook her to the core, it was seeing her cousin go against protocol and make history by going to the place that completely stunned her. Watching her cousin go against the world to simply be with the woman he loves – never has she ever imagined for Fitz to do something this stupid and ridiculous. It was then she felt that there was more to this affair and that it must be truly loved for him. This was further confirmed for her when a couple of months after, Fitz called her up asking if it's okay for him to go there for a short break. It took place right after their publicized breakup. A part of her wasn't completely shocked to hear about it over the news. What kind of relationship would ever survive that pressure and the circumstances around it in the first place? Georgina openly welcomed his request especially since it's been so long since she has seen him even if he was only allowed to have four days. During those four days though is when she saw just how in love her cousin must have been with Olivia. He was silent for the most part of his trip and she would often spot him looking out into distance by the window or at the patio that overlooks the ocean. She and Flynn decided to never bring up Olivia's name nor dare to ask any questions about their breakup for his sake. They both tried their best to make his short trip feel as normal as it could be – have meals together, go yachting. She could see that Fitz tried to show to them that he was doing fine but she saw it in his eyes. No matter how much he appeared to be okay, his eyes didn't have any light in them which only tells her that it must be a painful breakup for him even though according to the press their separation was mutual. After his trip and going back to finish his presidency, Georgina hoped that given some time, he will eventually move on and be in a better place or even be with someone new. She thought that seemed to be the case until once again she was caught by surprise while watching Fitz on his final day as President – the much talked about goodbye kiss that has her and the rest of the world wondering: Is this one last goodbye? Or does this mean that they are never really over?

"Fitz, what exactly do you mean that you ruined everything?" Georgina asked trying to bring his attention back to what he just said and to bring some sense of direction into this tense conversation. Releasing a heavy sigh, Fitz leaned back to his chair with his eyes closed and suddenly feeling the like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. After a few seconds, he opened his eyes and looks up at the ceiling above as he answers back. "I don't know George. Just so many things happened…and I…just made a lot of mistakes especially with her. I don't know. I don't really know where to start."

"Fitz not everything could have been your fault. Maybe you're overreacting a bit here." Flynn quipped as an attempt to not let Fitz go down this train of self-blame.

"Flynn if you only knew the stuff that happened over these years you would be having a different opinion right now." Fitz scoffed back and let out a humorless chuckle at it.

"Then tell us"

Both men turned their heads to Georgina after hearing what she said. "Tell us about it, Fitz. Tell us what has happened over these past years that we didn't get to witness. Like Flynn said earlier, we have enough time now to catch up and perhaps reconnect because to tell you the truth I'm not really sure who Fitzgerald Grant is right now. Maybe you can help me get to know my cousin again."

* * *

 _Just call him and get it over with. It's not like this is your first time. Plus it's a business call so to speak._

For the past thirty minutes or so, Olivia has been sitting at her couch and staring at the small electronic piece of device that is sitting on top of her coffee table. She is thinking of contacting Fitz to get an idea on the status of the case she recently pitched to Marcus. She was at the institute earlier to try and get an update but Marcus didn't give her that much details as he has been pre-occupied with many other things given that he's currently the one holding the fort while Fitz is away.

"What exactly is stopping you? What are you afraid of?" she thought to herself as she goes back and forth internally with picking up her phone and pressing his contact.

 _Flashback to sometime during ep 516_

 _Annoyed and frustrated after her and Mellie's unexpected loss at the debate, Olivia couldn't sleep. Where the hell did they go wrong when they prepared heavily for this? They were an obvious shoo-in to come out as the winner based on Mellie's performance at the beginning of the segment until that…THAT question completely threw them off their game and had them losing to Susan Ross. As she tosses and turns on her bed, Olivia then thought of her next move given the information that she got hold of that can truly ruin Susan's chance in this election. It will make Mellie be the forefront as the Republican candidate. This would make their problems go away, right? Torn between her need to win especially after a loss and questioning the moral implications of what her actions will lead to, Olivia suddenly found herself wishing that she had a friend right now that she can turn to. She could call Abby but since they are in opposing ends with their candidates it's probably best not to. Mellie? After losing she probably need some space she thinks. Huck? Quinn? Marcus? Were they even options, to begin with? There's her other option though to distract herself even if it's just temporary. Olivia rolled out her eyes and scoffed at the thought. She could call Jake and without a doubt, he will show up even with that twisted game that they've been playing. What was even the point of it? Too tired to think about her messy dealings with Jake, she stepped out of her bedroom to pour herself a glass of wine. She wished Stephen was still here to hear her out or even Cyrus, the old Cyrus so to say when they would back in the day pour out their woes over a bottle like those grueling nights on the trail during Fitz—_

 _Fitz_

 _The name for some time now that she has abolished out of her mind. Isolated from everyone, he was if anything nothing more than just a distant memory now that their relationship is finally over for good. The mention of his name in her thoughts had her staring into the distance as she drinks her wine. Her expression, blank, empty, and with a twinge of hostility, an attitude that she has taken ever since she left him. This was full-on display during their first meeting since the breakup showing that she was completely over him. With this "achievement" though, shouldn't she then be no longer continue to be in misery now that she is free of him. Wasn't the point of ending their relationship supposed to finally be her key to happiness now that she is no longer confined to the emotional turmoil of their relationship? Realizing that she was letting him invade her thoughts more than he should, she immediately brought her walls back up to stop herself from relapsing over something that brought nothing but pain to her life._

Remembering how antagonistic she was after their breakup made Olivia want to feel angry with herself for how wrong she turned out to be and that it resulted to just even more problems for her. As she tries to shake off that unpleasant memory, she still finds herself staring at her phone that is beside her wine glass. After a minute or two, it then dawned on her that there has been no contact between the two of them ever since their last time together which was at his hotel suite. Even before that she can't remember their last phone conversation at all.

 _And that's because all of those has stopped ever since the night of their breakup._

There was a time when those phone calls would bring out so many emotions from her. Torn between wanting for them to stop and waiting for the next ring, it mirrored with her pendulum swing of feelings towards him. But at the same time, those phone calls were one of the few things that connected them both throughout their affair even when she tried so hard to stay mad at him. After that night she left the white house, the phone calls died along with their relationship and the same goes for any attempts of him trying to pursue her which was something admittedly she got used to. The absence of those furthermore sealed the reality to Olivia that the two of them are completely over and that those needed to be done in order for her to get her life back on track. Again that didn't turn out to be the solution to her problems as so she thought.

Not wanting to anymore remember about the past and be forced to familiarize herself with her emotions. Olivia picked up her glass as she once again fills it up with another dose of her favorite red before going to bed and leaving her phone behind.

* * *

" _I'm in the mood to not exactly talk"_

 _Quickly they both disrobed each other as their mouths meet once again, giving in to their passion that hastily resurfaced. Picking her up, he led them to bed not minding that their hair is still wet from their shower rendezvous. As he tears himself from her lips, he begins his descent downwards by sucking her right nipple earning a gasp from her before taking on the other one. As he goes further south he can hear heavy pants and feel her stomach tremble when his lips graze over them._

 _(fades to black)_

" _A or B? A or B? Pick one!"_

" _I'm no longer the woman you – things are different now Fitz"_

" _Why are you here?!"_

" _I left Washington. I did my time. It's my past. Olivia is my past"_

" _My dad gave me this gun. A couple of weeks after I was elected governor, it was a gift. Cyrus once told me, he said one day, when all the attention is gone, when I'm out of the office and no one's President anymore, I would use this gun to blow my brains out"_

" _Just make sure she loves you. If she loves you, then she can be any tornado she wants."_

" _You were in love with her. You were gonna spend the rest of your life with her."_

" _Guess what I am a big dog!"_

" _At least my father loved me"_

" _There is no us!"_

" _We tried. We did"_

With his eyes now wide open and his heartbeat going fast, Fitz quickly tried to get a hold of his breathing after coming out of a dream which was really another round of flashbacks. He's doesn't understand why he finds himself being reminded of the past especially the ones that he would rather forget to have existed. Maybe it's because he's been opening up to George which has him re-open old wounds that were never really treated. As he lets out of heavy sigh, Fitz looks at the bedside clock and sees that it was a little past five. After having that dream, he decided that he would rather stay away than try to get some sleep for only to be haunted again with his memories. He stares at the ceiling above him and started thinking as to what has gotten him back into this feeling of loss and despair that he would always feel back then when he is separated from Olivia. What was the trigger?

Things were fine awhile back and they were happy or seemed to be happy knowing that their fear of imprisonment and being apart from each other permanently is no longer an option. After meeting up with each other on the street, the two went back to Olivia's place and celebrated their freedom all night long. Both were happy that B6-13 is no longer their problem. From there they carried on with their usual "sleepovers" either at her place or his hotel suite. In the beginning, it didn't mind him at all as he was still feeling a huge sense of relief knowing that his legacy will be kept intact and he and Olivia will never have to deal with imprisonment. Now here he is almost three months later since that event and he can't help but find himself wondering, is this thing between them leading to somewhere or is this post-breakup grey area so to speak is all that they have?

Looking back at the clock and seeing that it is now five-thirty, Fitz starts to get up and looks for his swim clothes. Now that he's up bright and early, he prepares to leave and heads out to Jalama beach with his board. The isolated beach cove is just what he needs and a good surf will definitely help him forget and clear his mind.

After three attempts in reaching his phone, Georgina was starting to get antsy over not hearing anything back from Fitz. After preparing breakfast for the three of them, she had Flynn go to the guesthouse and let him know about it only to find him nowhere. That worried George a little especially since he didn't leave any note or message as to where he was going.

"Honey there's nothing to worry about since he is with secret service. I'm sure he is fine and safe." Flynn said as he reaches for his wife's hand while sitting across from her on the island counter.

"Still he just up and left without any note or anything to inform us with. Can you contact Luther for us to know where exactly he is."

"Umm I don't have his number"

"What do you mean you— Flynn you're with them almost every day for almost three weeks now and you don't have the contact details of his secret service!"

"I—I just didn't think that I would be needing it" Flynn looks down and shrugs his shoulders after his reply.

Georgina shakes her head given her husband's naivety. The perfect blend of yin and yang, Georgina and Flynn's relationship is quite the epitome of how opposites attract. Flynn is quite similar to Fitz but more laid back and passive towards life while Georgina is the stronger creative between the two.

"I'm going to remind Fitz when he gets back that there will be no repeats of this. Even if he is with his secret service, he should be more careful with –"

The opening of the main door caught their attention as Fitz came in with his hair still wet

"Oh hey, guys. I'll just take a quick shower first before joining you two" Fitz said as he passes by them and heads out to the guesthouse.

"Fitz just a minute please." Georgina sternly said making Fitz stop in his tracks and turn around to look at her.

"Where were you this morning? I don't recall you telling us last night over dinner that you have some plans for today?"

"I just came from surfing at Jamala Beach."

"Jamala? That's an hour drive away from here" She looks at him with a confused expression over receiving this information.

"Well, it's really the only surf place to go to during summer season. I was up early and I didn't' want to bother you two since you guys were still sleeping."

"Fitz you could have left a note. We were worried upon realizing that you were nowhere to be found around here."

"I'm sorry about that." Fitz somberly apologized

"Okay, just next time don't forget to leave a note or text message Fitz so that I won't be so worried. Anyhow tonight we are going to have a guest for dinner. Remember my friend from London? She arrived the other day and I told her to get some rest because I'm sure she was feeling the jetlag kicking in. So tonight we will be hosting a welcome dinner for her. Her name is Serena and boys although this will just be a casual and chill dinner party, please still look your best for our guest. No flip flops Flynn and I would appreciate it if you two will lend a hand in preparing this dinner and not just leave it all up to me because it's such a domesticated thing to do. This household does not tolerate any of those Stepford wives ideologies here."

"Yes, ma'am!" Both men answered back with a chuckle as George simply rolled her eyes in response.

* * *

After helping set the table, Flynn and Fitz decided to lounge by the poolside and watch the sunset while waiting for George to come back who was out picking up their guest.

"So how did you guys meet…Serena is it?" Fitz asked.

"It was during our trip to Geneva about two years ago I think for this event for the International Alliance of Women. At that event, both she and George were recipients for a special award due to their contributions to the organization. Anyway, we were at the same table with her and the two of them were seated side by side. They hit it off quickly and Serena even invited us to stay at one of her townhouses in London when she found out that we were also vacationing around some cities in Europe."

"Well, that's really nice of her."

"Oh, you have no idea. Serena is one of the nicest and sweetest people I've ever met. She's very humble in spite of how well know her family is across Asia especially in Singapore."

"Singapore?"

"Oh forgot to mention to you this not so little tidbit. She's part of the Leong family – Serena Leong. They are known to be the richest family in Singapore and one of the most prominent families in Southeast Asia. The Shangri-la Hotel chain is theirs in fact. Just one of the many businesses that her family operates."

"Her family is really rich then"

"Not just rich but crazy rich"

They started to hear some chatter and giggling in the background which signals that the two ladies have finally arrived. As Fitz stood up and turned around to greet them, his eyes instantly landed at the tall figure standing beside his cousin.

"Serena finally! It's so good to see you again!" Flynn greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and a big hug which she gladly welcome.

"Hello Flynn, still looking dashing as ever. Are you preparing to be the next Bond?" She jokingly responded back. Her black orbs then turn to meets with his cerulean ones as she approached him next. "Mr. President, what an honor. I'm Serena Leong." She held out her hand for him to shake to which Fitz immediately did. "Hello and nice to meet you, Serena. Please do call me Fitz. There's no need for the formalities around here." He greeted her back with his signature smile that would always charm the hell out of anyone to match with her warm angelic ones. "It's nice to meet you too, Fitz."

Standing at five eight tall and clad in a blush pink dress against her luminous porcelain skin, she was definitely a sight to behold. She exudes grace, elegance, and a feeling of warmth stems from her to which Fitz finds that it gives a calming and serene presence.

"So Serena what do you look most forward to your trip? It's your first time here in Santa Barbara." About an hour into their dinner party and things were going smooth and well for the party of four. It was a warm August night with some breeze from time to time making it the perfect atmosphere for their outdoor gathering. "Is it your first time here in the States?" Fitz asked as follow up to Flynn's question. She looked at him and gave a small laugh before answering "Oh no. I've been here a couple of times but it's usually in the east coast. New York to be exact as that is where one of our hotel chains is located. This is my first time to be in the West Coast and when George found out about my travel plans, she immediately invited me here. Almost forced me to go here" she chuckled lightly in her response.

"And you should have opted to stay in our house! I told you we have so much room for you here plus you get to have company," Georgina added to her response. "Oh please George that's very kind of you but I don't want to be bothersome since Fitz is also staying here. Plus I like having my own space."

To which Fitz then quickly commented, "Oh don't worry about me like George said it's a big house and there's plenty of room for us I assure you."

"Come on Serena this would be so much more fun. Plus our house is actually nearer to the location you are eyeing on for your company's business expansion compared to your hotel."

"Okay okay let me think about it."

"There's no need to think because you are moving your stuff here tomorrow. So guys who want dessert?"

After two more hours later, the couple decided to start fixing the table as it was getting late and Flynn would still have to take Serena back to her hotel. Both Fitz and Serena offered to help but because they are guests, George insisted that she and Flynn are fine with it. Fitz then saw that he was getting a call from Marcus and given how late it must be in DC he thinks that it must be an urgent one. With that, he grabs his phone and went further into the backyard to take the call.

"Hello Marcus, everything okay? It's quite late there plus it's the weekend."

"Good evening Mr. President and sorry to bother you at this hour. I'm at the Residence right now with Mellie and she asked me to call you to let you know that Teddy currently has a fever."

"How high is it? Is he taking anything for it? Do you have the White House doctor there? Can I talk to Mellie?" The mention of his youngest had him quickly firing one question after another.

"Woah woah okay one by one. Yes, he has been checked by the doctor and prescribed with medicines. Mellie is by his side now as she wants to make sure that he is getting is sleeping well. His fever went down a while ago. I know that you are worried but things are okay here. Okay, Fitz things will be fine."

"Right right. Thanks, Marcus for calling me up on this. How's everything there? The institute"

"Well, I'm not gonna lie things are picking up but we are managing without you here. By the way, I included you in this email trail in regards to Liv's case. Have you by any chance read it?

"Um, no…actually I haven't checked my emails today. This is the one concerning the transgender group right? Well, I'm sure you guys know what to do so just keep me in the loop."

"Alright. I'll message in case we need something urgently. Olivia is passionate about this case"

"When has Olivia Pope never become passionate towards a case Marcus?" Fitz responded back while chuckling at the thought.

 _Will she ever exert the same passion when it comes to them? The same passion that she puts into leaving him; will there come a time that it will be another way around and she stays? Or has he never learned his lesson and is still asking for the impossible?_

After ending his phone call, Fitz found himself being clouded by those thoughts. He started walking closer to the edge that overlooks the ocean and to hear the waves crashing in order to clear his mind. After a few minutes, he suddenly feels that there was someone else with him so he turned around to see who it was

"Oh sorry, I'm sorry. Was I disturbing you or something" He found Serena a couple of steps behind looking like she was somewhat caught.

"Oh Serena it's okay no need to apologize," he reassured her while giving a small smile.

"I was just going around and touring their place then I saw you here. So is this your spot? She started walking forwards towards him while looking around the area.

"My spot?"

"You know your go-to place especially when you just want to be alone for a while. It seems like you were in deep thought"

"I like this spot. It's quiet and the closest you can get to hear the sounds of the ocean."

She looks at the view in front of them and watches the waves crash one after another under the bed of stars.

"Nice view"

 _Nice view. You're here. I'm here._

They stood there side by side in silence for a while watching the waves with its ebbs and flows crash into the sea.

"Thinking of someone? You look like you are missing someone"

Fitz then breaks his gaze from the view and looks at the woman beside her

"You ask a lot of questions."

"Don't you like questions, Mr. President?" She replied while she continues to look straight ahead at the view.

"So how does one look like when they are missing someone"

"Look in the mirror"

He then lets out a laugh at her unexpected answer. Never did he expect for this angelic woman to have such a wicked sense of humor.

"Now you don't anymore look like you're missing someone." She added while laughing along with him.

"You're funny"

"Thank you and I'm glad that you warmed up to my British humor. Not a lot of people ever really understand our comedic style"

"I believe they call it dry humor. You were born and raised in London?"

"Isn't it obvious?" She teased him once again.

"No, it's not like that! I just.."

"My dad is from Hong Kong while my mom is from Singapore. They met while in university at Oxford and they just fell for each right off the bat. After graduation they got married and then had me and my brother."

Before he was about to ask another question he started hearing Flynn in the background heading towards them and calling their attention.

"Hey, Serena are you ready to head out now?"

"Oh yes, I'm all ready. Flynn, I really do appreciate this. You and George have been so welcoming"

"Oh please, I'm just returning the gesture for when you took care of us back then in London. Hey Fitz, I'm just going to bring Serena back to her hotel. Do you wanna come with us?"

"Nah that's fine Flynn."

As Serena started to walk away she turned to look at him before leaving, her black orbs looking straight into his blue ones. "Well, I guess this isn't really goodbye. Till next time Fitz. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Serena"

A/N My apologies that it took me this long to update! I started a new job right after my last update and I'm now a bit settled at work more or less. Yes, this is just part 1 and I'm already working on part 2. Say hello to another new character to this story, Serena Leong (obviously inspired by my fav Gemma Chan). Love it or hate, I'm looking forward to your thoughts!


	5. Macallan Sherry Oak 12 (Part 2)

As Fitz is making his way to the guesthouse after Flynn and Serena left, he spots George still lounging outside while nursing a cup of tea. He decided to head over there and hang with his cousin for a little while before finally retreating to sleep.

"I thought you'd be already in your room by now"

"I'm waiting for Flynn," George replied back with a soft smile gracing her face. "Well, tonight went pretty well. What do you think of Serena? I think she had a good time right," she added as she takes a sip from her cup.

Before answering her question, he sits down and makes himself comfy on the armchair that is sitting across from her. "Well, she's really nice…actually quite funny. You wouldn't think she has a funny bone in her when you first meet her."

"Serena can be a little tease. I don't know if it's her British upbringing but I think it's also one of her many traits that make her endearing. Anyway, after much pleading on my end, she is still set on staying in her hotel suite and will think about staying here for the remainder of her trip once you're back in DC. So are you ready to go back home? I'm sure you miss it already by now."

 _Home._ Where exactly is home for him? A five-star hotel suite that eventually for him feels like it's circling around varying degrees of dullness or a three acres estate with a once dreamy cabin that has become a place of broken dreams.

Or is this cozy coastal city, where the sun always feels more golden, is this seaside haven his home?

"I definitely miss Teddy and Karen. The little man caught a fever by the way. Marcus called me earlier to inform me about it but he's now feeling much better. I do miss the institute. I wonder how Marcus has been holding up during these past few weeks." He responded back while letting his inner thoughts linger at the back of his mind.

"Oh, Teddy! Thank God it's nothing serious. I miss him and Karen too. I can't even remember the last time I saw them. Fitz, you should go back here with them next time!" A comfortable silence then fell between the two as they both look out to the ocean view from their spot.

"George"

At the mention of her name, Georgina tore her gaze from the view to look at him. Based on the subdued tone of his voice, she already has a feeling over the subject matter of this incoming talk. "Can I ask you something? I'm…I...I just would like to know your thoughts" His hesitation can be heard loud and clear as she responded back with a nod. "Should I sell the house in Vermont?" His was obviously in distress about this question just based on the look on his face upon asking. This was a question she was definitely not expecting to hear.

"Well, what's your basis for selling it? If you think it's a right and wise decision then I don't see why not. Do you want to sell it?"

"I…I don't know"

"What are you going to do then with the land that was purchased for your presidential library? Sell it back?"

"I don't know yet. I haven't thought about it."

"So are you thinking of moving to DC for good? Purchase another property there? Or will you still be living in that hotel once you sell the house?

"What? Umm I don't know George"

"Is I don't know the only answer you know?"

"Then what is it that you want me to say?!" _I don't know what you want me to say!_

Clearly frustrated on his end, Georgina didn't answer him right away as she takes a minute to avoid getting into an unnecessary argument with him. "Have you ever thought that maybe instead of saying what it is that you really want to say that you tend to think on what others would want to hear instead?" _That's your problem! You're always trying to say what you think everyone wants to hear._

"I think you already have an idea on the answer to your question but you're scared to say it out or you are actually scared to find out the answers to your questions." She continues while looking back to the vast ocean view and taking a sip from her cup.

"I just wanted to get an opinion…just wanted to hear someone else thoughts and thought it could give some clarity"

"And I already gave my take Fitz. Like I said if you think it's the right decision then why not. Look you know that in the end, it's all up to you – the choice or choices rather you think you need to make."

"George, of course, I know that! It's just that— It's just that I don't…"

"You don't want to make a decision because you're scared." She releases a heavy sigh before continuing with her response. "Well, that's your decision then. You chose to not choose and just let things be."

Silence once again fills the area around them and only the waves of the ocean crashing from a distance can be heard.

"I don't see the point of that house," Georgina stated as she continues looking straight at the ocean view from where they are.

"At one time it served a purpose I guess but that purpose is and was never met. Clearly, it hasn't been occupied in years and based on what you shared with me about your current life in DC, I don't see you ever going back there anytime soon or in the near future. So why is that house still there when it just has been sitting empty all along? Maybe that's the more fitting question here Fitz. We haven't really talked yet about the breakup that happened a few years back but it seemed like a final one so why didn't you ever sell it after that? Why are you keeping something...this place that is clearly causing so much emotional turmoil for you? Why did you choose to make that place your home after your presidency when you know that the person you built that house for was never going to be with you? I mean who in their right mind would do that? To live in this place that is nothing but a reminder of an unfulfilled dream. Or I don't know, maybe you actually like to keep on torturing yourself. Have you ever thought that? That you like to continue to attach yourself to this painful reminder because it actually keeps you connected to her. You may think that I'm being horrible to you right now. Well, they do sound horrible but these are the facts. I'm sorry Fitz for I know that this is not what you would want to hear but this is the reality-based from the way I see it."

While listening to Georgina list down those cold hard facts, Fitz didn't interrupt or made any attempts to raise a point in contrast to what she was saying. How could he when just like what his cousin said, she was saying the real deal – his painful reality. As he continues to absorb her words, he stands up to grab the nearby bottle of scotch from the outdoor bar cart. Georgina could only watch her cousin, with his shoulder slump and looking defeated as he grabs for that brown liquor that he often drowns himself in. She did not mean to hurt him but she also didn't want to give him a rose-colored tinted answer.

"Look, Fitz –"

"You're right." He interrupted followed by raising his glass to his lips to take a gulp before setting it down on the table in front of her. "I always thought for so long that the reason why Vermont seemed impossible is because of my presidency, well that and my marriage. That for as long as I was a married president, Vermont will just always remains to be a fantasy especially for her. That the reason why there's no Vermont is so that I can be president because that was the reality. So we used to cling to that fantasy especially when we're apart. Made up this dream of our life together in a different reality where I was the mayor, we have like two or four kids, and she makes jam. We fantasize for so long on what it will be like when we are finally together. Or maybe it was only I? Maybe it was only my dream because when we finally got together, the real reason why there's no Vermont is not that I was a married president."

Fitz then took a step forward to get a closer view of the Pacific Ocean. With his back against her cousin, she couldn't see the pain written all over his face but she can definitely hear it in his words.

"Olivia will never go to Vermont. Not especially for me. She'll never choose Vermont simply because she never really wanted it. She never wanted that life.

How could I have never seen it that way? That she would never commit to that kind of life. The formidable Olivia Pope would never choose to live a boring life in a small and isolated town. I mean she would even rather choose an island before even thinking about Vermont." He let out a humorless chuckle at that last sentence.

"What's wrong with me George? How could I have not seen it? That none of it was her dream! I just— I don't know what to do, what to feel, and what to think. I don't know what to believe anymore."

As Georgina listened to her cousin unload this emotional turmoil that has been plaguing him for years, she found herself recalling her conversation with Flynn not so long ago when Fitz started telling them the ins and outs of his life over the past decade.

" _Flynn", Georgina called her husband who was doing the last steps of his bedtime routine in the bathroom as she finishes putting in her night cream. Flynn hummed in response as he turned off the light and proceeds to bed. "I can't help but feel worried over Fitz especially when it comes to his relationship with Olivia." To be honest she found herself feeling uneasy when she realized just how much power and control Olivia has over her cousin. That from the moment he met her, his world since then only revolves around her._

" _What's wrong babe?"_

" _I'm just not sure about this relationship is doing any good – for both of them. I mean what are they even doing now because based on what Fitz has told us it seems they only meet to have sex outside of their shared work in the institute."_

" _Oh come on George you know it's never just sex. This is not some friend with benefits kind of situation because those two have history." Flynn refuted back as he slides into his side of the bed._

" _So what else do they do then apart from sex huh? They are just making it complicated especially when they have already broken up."_

" _Well, obviously they still have strong feelings for each other. Look, give it some time and they'll most likely get back together. I mean come on they clearly still love each other. Fitz wants her and he wants to be with her."_

" _Love? You really actually believe that this thing between them is love and not some blind devotion from Fitz. I mean some people would call this obsession!" At first, she finds it questionable as to whether Olivia really loves her cousin then, later on, she started questioning her cousin's "love" for her as well or is it just some intense addiction._

" _Fitz wholeheartedly loves Olivia with his mind, body, and soul. That is way too obvious and throughout all these years she never appeared to stop loving him. Olivia though admittedly seemed to be someone who is difficult to love. Hmm kind of reminds me of someone. Hint hint," Flynn gave her a little playful nudge, which only made George roll her eyes at him._

" _You know sometimes I still do wonder why I married a lovesick fool."_

" _But I'm your lovesick fool," he jokingly remarked back making her laugh a little as she turns off her bedside lamp and snuggles to her husband._

"Love can make you go blind. People do stupid things for love. A lot of people do stupid things for love. Not just you Fitz." She answered back breaking the silence that fell again between the two of them. Fitz turned around and occupied the seat he was in while grabbing his drink and taking a sip. "I don't understand what's happening to me lately. I thought I have overcome this. I thought I have moved on from this but I just find myself feeling to be in this constant state of despair and questioning every turn from the past to the present. I'm tired, George. Tired of fighting and playing this never-ending game."

"You're fighting what exactly? To you, it may seem like that but to the outside, this fight and game has stopped ever since the relationship ended. You find yourself constantly confuse about your feelings and questioning things that have happened in the past because you're coming into terms with the reality and you are trying to resist it. That is what is happening now Fitz, that's what has been happening ever since you two broke up because this is no longer a fantasy. The façade of the romance has been gone ever since and now you're dealing with the reality of your situation.

Fitz, listen to me when I say this. It's not you that is wrong or damaged. It's the relationship that is damaged. It is what it is and it's why you two just keep on doing this post-breakup grayness because both you know the harsh reality of your relationship. Yet at the same time you both are scared to face it because once you do, you know that there are hard choice or choices you two have to make.

Once you make a choice, you know that it doesn't stop there because you have to follow through with it. No matter how difficult it will be."

* * *

Although he was on the verge of waking up, he could feel like someone is in his room and closely watching him. He starts to feel the pull of the daylight and once he opens his eyes, he found Flynn who was lying beside him and with his arm propped up while look s closely at him.

"What the hell Flynn! What are you doing and how long have you been here?"

"George instructed me to wake up you because we will be heading out today together with Serena. You know I never realize just how long your lashes are" Flynn casually replied back.

"What time is it?" Fitz groggily asked as he slowly rises up from his bed while stretching his arms.

"It's almost eight-thirty. Get dressed we're leaving around nine to pick up Serena then have breakfast at the yacht club. Georgina wants to spend the whole day on the water because you know in London they barely get any sun." He jumped out of his bed as he proceeds to leave the guesthouse leaving Fitz to prepare for the day.

Around nine thirty they were at the Four Seasons hotel where Serena is staying and waiting for George to pick her up from the lobby. After five minutes they saw both ladies coming out of the hotel lobby and heading to their SUV's. As he started to turn on his car's engine he then hears the passenger door behind open to find his cousin and Serena. "Hey, Fitz I figured I'll let Serena ride with you so that you have some company. No offense by the way Luther." Luther only grunted in response as he steps out of his seat to help store Serena's belongings in the car. "Thank you, Luther," Serena replied with a warm smile as Luther grabs her things. "So do I have to seat in the back then? Is that the protocol by secret service?" She asked while appearing confused over which car seat to occupy. "Um no, you can sit here in front. Luther, I'm sure that's fine I mean it's only a short drive from here to the yacht club." Fitz answered back as he reaches to open the passenger door beside him while Luther grunted once again in the background.

After grabbing breakfast at the yacht club's ocean room, the group of four was now boarding Fitz's sailing yacht. He volunteered for them to use his since he wanted to take it out for a spin for it's been stationed for so long. When they got closer to his boat, he felt a sudden spike of adrenaline surge through him. Maybe because it was the combination of both the familiarity of the place and that feeling of trying something new since he can't anymore remember the last time he drove his boat though he had it regularly maintained. "So what's the plan? We can cruise for a while before stopping somewhere to take a dip and use the jet skis." He asked them as they slowly started to depart from the pier. "Well that's sounds good to me then later we can catch the sunset heading back. Serena, you have to see the coastline during that time. There's nothing quite like it during the golden hour," Flynn added.

Two hours later and a quarter past one in the afternoon, they found a spot that is not so crowded for them to dock. The guys started to take out the two jet skis for them to ride. "Come on George", Flynn called out to his wife as he gets in himself situated in one of them. "So see you two later then. Stay safe okay." Georgina said to both Fitz and Serena before taking off with Flynn.

"Have you ever rode or drove one of these?" Fitz asked while putting on his life jacket and then handing Serena hers.

"I rode one of these. Never tried driving them. It's been a while since I've been on one though," she replied a bit nervously as she took the life jacket from him

"Well, that makes the two of us then. Don't worry I'll take it slow." She gave him a nod in response as she sits behind him.

"Okay just make sure to hold on and that your jacket is secured."

"I feel like I should be the one saying that since you are the President." Fitz just laughed at the comment as he started to turn on the ignition. "Just promise that you won't do any daredevil like moves okay." She further said while wrapping her arms around his midsection. "Okay ready?" She hummed in response as he slowly begins to push the throttle. Once they were in a safe distance from the boat buts still noticeable by his secret service, he then revs up the speed shocking Serena and making her cling tighter to him

"Bloody hell!"

"Just hold on and you'll be fine."

"Fitz don't you dare do anything cheeky!"

"I'm just increasing the speed gradually until we find a steady one. Don't worry I won't do any sharp turns so to avoid us capsizing" Fitz calmly said to ease her nerves as he tries to find a comfortable speed for them. After a while, they were now cruising smoothly as Fitz guides them in the open sea.

"How old were you when you started riding one of these?" Serena asked as they were cruising in a straight line.

"I got my boaters education when I turned 16. Ever since I was little, I was always in the outdoors. George and I grew up spending weekends by the beach or hiking the mountains."

"It must have been quite an adjustment for you then when you became President and living in the White House. To not have access so easily."

 _The crown jewel of the American prison system_

"It was indeed. Life in DC is very different. The air is colder and the sun shined less."

"Sounds just like you during our first meeting when I found you at your spot. Meanwhile watching you right now under the sun. The difference truly is like night and day."

"How so?" Fitz asked, curious to hear what this woman has in her mind about him.

"Let's just say this version of you right now is much better. California looks lovely on you Mr. President." She answered in response while smiling at the view of the coastline away from them.

"Well, Ms. Leong I have to say you too don't look bad under the sun. Must be a nice break from the grey clouds in London." He chuckled back at her.

"Guess I made the right choice to do business here then."

"I guess so. Welcome to Santa Barbara, Ms. Leong."

* * *

 _What are you smirking at?" she asked as she noticed his playful expression from where she was sitting._

 _He was going through the pile of mail and random flyers that were gathering by the entryway of his suite. "The hotel's speakeasy bar is going to have an 80's night and as I'm reading now the songs that they'll be playing, I feel like I'm having a trip down memory lane to my college days back in Yale."_

" _Hmm college…I'm pretty sure you were one of those Ivy League frat boys that were present at every party and strolling in with your crew of spoiled brats"_

" _Just like your party girl days Ms. Pope." He teased right back while smirking at her direction._

 _She lets out a chuckle as she takes a sip of her drink. "So are you going to check that out then? Relive the days of your youth." A small part of her suddenly wondering of his post-presidency life and what he does outside of the institute...and this thing between the two of them._

 _He didn't answer her back right away as he neatly stores the pile of papers on top of one another. Grabbing the bottle of whiskey at the bar cart and pouring himself a glass, he then went to the couch to sit beside her._

" _Nah I'm done reliving those and besides this bottle of Macallan is already a party of its own," he answered back with a chuckle as he tips his glass for her to clink with to which she did. She then placed her glass down on the coffee table in front and snuggled to his side. She reaches out for a kiss and as their lips met, she feels his hands start to roam all over her petite frame as hers gets lost in his bed of curls. After letting herself get lost for a moment in this kiss she then tore herself away from him and stood up from the couch only to reach for him again and lead them to the bedroom._

" _Don't stop," she breathily said to his mouth against hers. They've been kissing for what feels like hours already but there was no sign of stopping for them anytime soon. She wrapped her legs tighter around him while she feels him cling to her just the same as they both work on achieving their peak. "Almost there, I'm so close" she moaned into his mouth as she starts to feel her body tingle from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Not for long they both give in to the wave after wave of pleasure while holding on to each other so tight. Her eyes then start to flutter open as she feels the intensity of their orgasm starts to subside. As she opens them, all she saw then are his dreamy blue-grey eyes piercing right to her brown ones._

 _Hi_

 _Hi_

"Okay okay, I'm almost there. Just a sec" Olivia comes rushing to her door to finally settle down the incessant knocking that was coming from the other side. As she opens her front door in comes Abby all dressed up in a little black dress paired with some strappy satin emerald green heels. Her auburn red hair is styled in loose waves with a big part on the side and finishing the look is a bold red lip that complimented with her glam style

"Why are you dressed ready to be tucked in? Let's go out its Friday." Her judgmental tone can definitely be heard and the questioning look she was giving her made it even more obvious.

Wrapped in her trusty Natori kimono and with her hair in a loose bun, Liv rolled her eyes as she prepares to answer back. "Abby I was in the middle of doing my skincare routine. Getting ready to go to bed you know."

"Olivia Pope you're forty not seventy. Come on it's a Friday night. When was the last time we had a girl's night out? Like seriously you used to be the life of the party."

"Ugh Abby"

"Liv it's just one night. I just want to go out and let loose to have some fun you know. I just… I just wanna forget you know for one night and remember what it's like to have fun." With that answer, Olivia could feel herself start to give in to her request. Ever since the two of them have started hanging out again, it comforted her in a way that she is still capable of being someone's friend.

"Alright alright, but you'll have to wait for an hour okay especially with you looking like you had a whole village dress you up." With that, she heads back to her room to start picking an outfit.

About an hour and a half later, the two of them are now sipping their martinis while admiring the 360 views of the Potomac River. Abby wanted to hit up Top of the Gate, one of the well known stylish rooftop bars in the city. It was a little past eleven and the place was definitely starting to get crowded. Most are folks enjoying their after-work drinks after another grueling week and planning on having a good night.

"So has anyone caught your eye yet? I can feel myself thirsting over that one at your three o'clock." Abby nudged Liv a little to the direction of the tall brunette she was eyeing.

"What? Abby, I'm not here for any of that. I'm just here to enjoy a couple of drinks with you and then be reunited to my bed."

"Why not? Are you seeing anyone? I don't seem to recall you saying so or that you and Fitz are back together right."

"No no definitely not. I'm not seeing anyone," she quickly replied back as takes a sip of her drink.

Just as they were about to continue their conversation, a waiter dropped off another round of martinis for them.

"Oh, I think you got the wrong table. We didn't order another round," Olivia said as the waiter placed their drinks.

"They're compliments of the gentleman over there ma'am." The waiter stood to the side and pointed with his dish tray the person responsible for them. Turns out it was Senator Jacob Shaw who is now smiling at her and tipping his glass to the direction of their table. He was with another guy, a friend she presumes who is just as equally attractive. Dressed in a white button-down and with his hair swept back, she can definitely tell that a lot of the ladies in this place are obviously smitten by him.

"Omg Liv it's Senator Shaw! You know I can still remember that tape that we fixed for him. Omg they're approaching our table"

"Hello Olivia, nice seeing you again and hello Abby. This is my friend Sean by the way."

The two ladies said hello to both men. Abby obviously has her eyes set on Sean based on the megawatt smile that is plastered on her face.

"Would it be alright if we join you?"

"Absolutely!" Abby excitedly chimes in as she makes room for the two guys to join them while Olivia stayed mum in contrast to the red head's eagerness.

After another more round of martinis and two bottles of Veuve Clicquot, Olivia is starting to feel a little buzz. With the music blasting loud in the background and people chattering or raising their drinks for more rounds, she checked her watch to see that it's almost 2 am. Thinking of heading home soon, she tried to get Abby's attention but her friend was clearly too happy and found herself comfy around the arms of Sean a bit too much. Her and Shaw have been carrying a conversation mostly about the case that she is working on thanks to his reference and other musings about politics mostly.

"You know I have to say that it is still quite a shocker that the formidable Olivia Pope decided to not return to work for the White House. I mean come on that is like almost the equivalent of when hell freezes over."

"Okay I think that's a bit too much," Olivia replied with a chuckle at that exaggerated comment.

"Is it though? I mean you're one of DC's top powerhouse. Being Chief of Staff just seems like your endgame. So I'm just curious, why didn't you go back?" As Shaw looks at her straight in the eye after asking that question, Olivia takes a sip of her drink before answering him back.

"I just felt like it wasn't for me anymore or that it wasn't really for me. That's just really it. I felt like there was something else for me to do and that it was time to find some new crazy dream or think of my next plan that is no longer in the White House."

"And you think there is actually a crazier dream apart from the White House and Chief of Staff? Well, that's some thought" He laughingly commented back to her.

"Well, I guess that's what I am finding out now. I think I'll be heading home soon but Abby though seems to be glued to your friend here." She pointed at the pair whose faces were too close to each other. "I think Abby plans on staying here for a while. Look don't worry about Sean I'll make sure he brings her home safe. Actually, I can accompany you going home. I have a chartered car with me." Shaw offered as he starts to scroll through his phone and contact his driver.

"Oh, that's not necessary. I can go home on my own," she refuted.

"Don't worry Liv it's okay. Oh, there my driver responded. He'll be downstairs in five minutes. Let's head out here it may take us a while because of the crowd". He then stood up and approached Sean while Olivia tried her best to get Abby's attention. "Abby I'm going ahead okay. Please message me when you get home."

Thirty minutes later they were at the basement parking of Olivia's apartment building. Before leaving his car and heading to the elevator, Olivia thanked Shaw for the ride and wished him a good night. After pressing the button to her floor she then hears what sounds to be Shaw calling for her name. She quickly pressed the door open sign to allow him to enter in. "Hey, Liv here you almost forgot your phone. Pretty sure you can't survive without it," he said while handing the small device to her. She said thanks and bid him a good night once again before going up to her place.

Upon opening her door, the darkness and silence greeted her upon entering. It was something that she got used to over the years and sometimes she found comfort in it in after being used to it for so long. She checked her watch once again and sees that it's almost three in the morning. After texting Abby to let her know that she made it home and reminding her once again to message her when she gets home, she took off her heels and proceeds to her bedroom to finally get some shut-eye.

 _Not again_. Olivia thought to herself as hears incessant knocking once again from her front door. With her head under one of the pillows, she checked her bedside clock to see that it was half-past nine in the morning. _Ugh, who could be up at her door by this hour on a Saturday morning?_ She forced herself to rise up and attend to whoever it was on the door while not even bothering to check how she looks like. Upon opening the door she saw it was Abby with two cups of coffee and bag full of pastries. And she was still dressed in the clothes that she was wearing last night.

"Oh thank God you're finally up. Coffee?" She hurriedly walked right past through her and dropped off her things on her dining table.

"Well, it looks like you had a good night?" Olivia asked while eyeing her friend skeptically.

"Hmm well…yeah, I guess so. Last night was pretty good," she answered back while taking a sip of coffee. "So I saw that you left with Senator Shaw earlier. So how was it? I want to know all the deets!"

"Want to know what exactly?" Olivia looked at her questioningly.

"You know-how was in bed!" Abby responded back with a look that describes nothing short of her wanting to say 'what else could it obviously be'.

"What?! Abby no there was none of that!"

"You two didn't hook up after leaving?

"No Abby. We didn't hook up so to speak. He just offered to drop me off home and that was it. So how was yours then?" She was starting to feel uneasy with the conversation that is taking place so she tried to change the subject to be about her.

"I feel…well I'm not sure. Is it weird to feel like good, weird, and kind of a little guilty all at the same time? I mean he is my first ever since David died which is why I can't shake off that feeling of guilt. I feel weird – both the good and bad weird. Don't get me wrong Sean is a nice guy and yes the sex was good but I'm not sure if I'm for a potential rebound guy. I mean I'll forever love David. That for sure will never go away but last night was pretty okay. Am I making any sense?"

Olivia can totally understand Abby's confusion over what just happened. She knows that David's death will forever leave a permanent wound for her friend yet at the same time if anything she knows that Abby is a fighter, a gladiator at her core, as she braves this new chapter in her life. Sometimes she wishes she were a little bit more like Abby in the sense that she's capable of exercising compassion freely to herself and her personal matters. "You perfectly made total sense Abbs," she answered back with a soft smile gracing her face to her friend.

"If you don't mind me asking again, why nothing happened between you and Senator Shaw last night? Was he not your type then? I thought he's a perfect shoo-in for you!"

Olivia then looked at her friend incredulously over at that remark. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"That he's tall, handsome, white, and a Republican," Abby teased her right back while Olivia rolled her eyes at her and almost wanting to throw her with one of the pillows on her couch.

"Well you confirmed with me last night that you're not seeing anyone and that you're not back with Fitz so you're basically a free and single woman"

"Hmm yeah right not seeing anyone and definitely not back with Fitz." She lets out a small nervous laugh upon replying.

"Omg, you two are still seeing each other, aren't you? You and Fitz! So are you two finally working things out? " Abby immediate caught that small fake laugh of hers which could only mean that she's hiding something.

"Abby it's not like that. Fitz and I are…we are in a good place and we're fine okay. We are not in a relationship but we're okay"

"So you two decided to be friends then?"

"Well not necessarily like that…"

"Wait are you saying then that you two are like friends with benefits?" Olivia didn't answer her back and her lack of response only made Abby probed further. "Hmm, I should have seen this coming. So the two of you are fine then with this setup of sorts? It's just a bit weird though give your history and how you two used to be the Romeo and Juliet of DC"

"Umm yeah I guess"

"Well, that's good then. I mean isn't this what you want like there's no more pressure surrounding you"

"What I want?" She questioned her back but it seemed it was a question she was asking herself more.

"Yeah like you're not anymore burdened with the pressure to commit to the relationship and think of what it will cost you, you're free to interact with other people, and to top it all of you and Fitz are in good terms. Not life before when the two of you would have this 'I love you but I hate you so much' intense back and forth. It's a win-win situation finally for you"

"I guess you are right when you point it out that way. Anyway, I'm getting hungry. What did you bring for breakfast?" She quickly stands from her couch and went to her dining table to get the bag of pastries as well as to no longer extend the conversation over her 'win-win situation'.

* * *

As he approaches the heavily guarded room, his nerves were definitely all over the place. Each step closer has his mind going into haywire, 'Will this be another stupid mistake? Should he have just cancel this plan of his and flew straight back to DC instead? What was he expecting to get out of this?'

Eventually, he stopped walking as he watches the guards unlock the doors for him to come face to face with the person on the other side.

"When they informed me of your plan to visit, I must say I thought it was some kind of a sick joke because you are definitely one of the last people on earth that I would ever expect to see again."

He tried to say something but he felt his throat suddenly go dry. Just like what the man said, he too never thought that they would ever come to see each other face to face again. Their last meeting, which took place shortly after his return to DC, was short and brief. If the circumstances were different, it could have been two old Navy buddies catching up over drinks. Maybe in an alternate universe where he wasn't President and he continued climbing up the ranks in the Navy.

"What are you doing here Fitz? You are not supposed to be here. Does she know that you're here?"

He was right. He was definitely one of the last people that would ever think of visiting him. Finally, he found the words he wanted to say to the man in front of him which for so long was his competition and his worst enemy at one point.

"I'm here to find answers and I think I can only get them from you, Jake."


	6. Macallan Sherry Oak 12 (Part 3)

"What are you doing here Fitz? You are not supposed to be here. Does she know that you're here?"

He was right. He was definitely one of the last people that would ever think of visiting him. Finally, he found the words he wanted to say to the man in front of him which for so long was his competition and his worst enemy at one point.

"I'm here to find answers and I think I can only get them from you, Jake."

Jake looked at Fitz as if he has grown another head for he could not believe in what he's hearing. "You're kidding right. Do you really believe you'll find the answers to whatever it is that you're looking for here? In the Supermax Federal Penitentiary in Illinois of all places."

"I think you can help me figure things out," Fitz said with conviction in defense of what he said.

"Go home, Fitz. You are simply wasting your time here. Go back home to Vermont, DC, or wherever it is that you two decided to stay. You shouldn't even be here at all. You know she wouldn't like it when she gets word–."

"Olivia and I are not together."

"And somehow you expect me to believe that."

"It's the truth. She and I are not together okay."

"Are you saying that because you're feeling sorry for me as I'll be stuck here for the rest of my life? Look I don't want or need your pity." Not wanting anymore to be bothered by him, Jake turned around and starts looking at the door behind him to signal the guards that this meeting is done.

"I'm not here to gloat okay. I need to talk to you and ask some…Jake, I know that I'm one of the last people you would ever want to see and frankly I do too. It's just that I have some things I've been meaning to ask okay. I'm sure you have as well given our history." Fitz went on ignoring his replies and persistence of him leaving this palace. To be honest there are many questions he always wanted to ask the man in front of him given everything that transpired between them. Maybe it wasn't a wise decision to go here but he can't anymore just keep mum and pretend like the things that happened weren't a big deal. He doesn't know to be honest as to what will be the outcome of this meetup nor did he even prepare himself for it.

 _One week ago at Santa Barbara_

"It's a good thing that before your return back to DC that we have finally found our go-to guy for the West Coast headquarters. When he gets on board it will lessen the load a bit as he looks for the ones to run the South and North California offices," Flynn said as he and Fitz were walking along the pebbled driveway leading to the house. They just got home after a full day of working on-site and going over through a couple of things before Fitz's last day of work tomorrow, giving him some free time before flying back to DC.

"I think we made a right pick with Ezra. He is a bit young like a few years younger than Marcus but they both share the same ideals," Fitz replied.

Upon entering through the front door, the two men were greeted by the sight of Georgina and Serena preparing the dining table. The smell of baked lasagna, grilled salmon, and the heady fragrance of freshly peeled lemons filled up the room. "Honey, what seems to be the occasion? Not that I'm complaining." Flynn said as he approaches his wife to greet her with a kiss on the cheek followed by giving Serena a quick hug.

Fitz dropped off his laptop bag in one of the armchairs before going closer to the dining area. "Wow, did you two make all of these?" He asked as he looked at the delicious spread in front of him.

"Well, sort of. Serena and I randomly thought of making dinner instead of going to a restaurant so we spent the whole afternoon just making whatever we have here. We did order the baked lasagna because we didn't have enough time," George quipped after putting on some finishing touches by lighting some candles. The men excused themselves to freshen up a bit. After a few minutes, the four of them have gathered once again to take their seats. "Bon appetite!" Flynn announced to the group while raising a glass of Aperol spritz for all of them to cheers.

After dinner and some drinks, Fitz then excused himself as he needed to send out some emails to Marcus. Once he was done working he realize that it was only quarter past nine so he decided to stroll outside the garden before calling it a night. As he stepped outside of the guesthouse he searched for that small clearing in the compound that gives the best view of the Pacific Ocean. He was going to miss the ocean; his everyday background for it has become his haven of sorts. Sometimes he finds himself wondering what if he went along with his original plan of moving back here instead after his time as president. Spending time with Georgina and Flynn made him realized that regardless of this place association to his father that he misses being here.

That he missed the feeling of being at home.

After looking at the beautiful seascape in front of him, he looked up and saw how brightly lit the night sky was. Apparently, it was a full moon tonight. Randomly he decided then to lie down and marvel at the starry night. He could point out some of the constellations as he easily spotted Orion's belt. The great thing about this place was that it didn't have that much lighting compared to the other spots giving him a clearer view of the stars.

"The former President is seen lying down by himself as he stargazes. I'm pretty sure that if I tweeted this moment right now, it will without a doubt go viral in no time."

Fitz immediately sat up when he heard that familiar British accent behind him. "I thought you already left," he replied. Clad in a long white sundress, Serena carefully sits down beside him as she begins to lie down to also gaze at the night sky.

"I just finished helping George clean up. They said it's better that I stay the night here because it's already a bit late and to head back to the hotel tomorrow morning after breakfast instead."

"Wow it's completely stunning," Serena said while taking in the view.

"It's beautiful, isn't it? Georgina's mom, my dad's sister loves to stargaze. She was the one that taught me and George about the constellations. Right there you can spot Orion's belt and from there you can find the other stars. When you look further to the north is–

"Betelgeuse while on the opposite side is Rigel."

Fitz then turned his head to look at the woman beside him. Even in the dark with the moonlight shining on them, she still exuded this effortless and otherworldly quality. Maybe it's partly due to her soft and refined British way of speaking and also partly due to her looks. She was obviously a very stunning girl with her symmetrical facial features, high cheekbones, smooth porcelain skin, and full lips. Feeling that he was starting to stare and wanting to avoid any awkwardness he brought his gaze back up to the stars. A comfortable silence soon fell between the two of them while they continue to appreciate the sea of stars and the full moon shining bright.

"So how are you finding Santa Barbara so far? Is it starting to be a bit too sunny and warm for your taste," Fitz asked with a small chuckle when he said that last comment. "I love it here. I love that I can feel the sun on my face and hear the ocean in the background compared to the forever grey skies back home," Serena responded with a small smile.

"This trip is just what I need while my divorce settlement is getting finalized back in London," she added which made him sharply turn his head to look at her again.

"You were married?"

"I was," she said followed by releasing a heavy sigh.

"I was married for five years. We were classmates back in uni at Oxford but we only started dating a couple of years after graduation when he was doing his MBA while I was in the middle of my masters. He was my best friend. We started as really close friends before ever getting together. I failed to realize during this whole divorce process that I didn't just lose my husband and someone who I once taught was the one for me. I also lost my best friend."

As Fitz listened to Serena open up to him he can't help but wonder as to why would anyone ever divorce her. It's hard to imagine how someone who is the perfect example of class and grace would be going through a divorce especially given how calm and collected she always appeared to be.

Carefully he asked, "If you don't mind…may I ask as to what caused the split?"

"He let his insecurities take control over him particularly when it comes to my family's wealth. I felt like I always had to reassure him that he was more than enough for me. It came to the point that I felt guilty for having my family's last name. After a while, I just got tired of always compromising and then I started to feel like my job was to make him feel like a man when I can't make him something that he's not. So I left."

"You made the right choice then. Leaving him was the right thing to do especially when the relationship was no longer making you happy." Fitz sadly said as Serena's description of her ex-husband reminded him of why Olivia would always leave him especially during the demise of their relationship a few years ago. How she felt trapped in their relationship and his incapability to be the man she deserves.

"I guess so however now that you asked me regarding the reason for my divorce, I think that ultimately it boils down to the two us not choosing to understand each other. We didn't choose the relationship and let ourselves grow distant and resentful. Both of us didn't choose to fight for our marriage because we refused to understand one another. I don't regret my decision to end our marriage but I do see things more clearly now from both sides. It's a hard pill to swallow of course but really the demise of the relationship is a result of two people." Serena further explained in her signature relaxed and poised English accent.

"You still love him? Your ex-husband?"

"I'll always have love for him I think. We married each other because we loved each other and thought of spending our lives together in the first place. You just can't rewrite history when it comes to that even though you want to prove that you no longer love him."

"Flynn was right. You really are too kind, Serena."

"Well the world could use a little more kindness don't you think Mr. President? Rousseau once said, what wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?" she answered back with her looking at him and a soft smile forming on her face.

Fitz smiled back at that thought. Her kindness and generosity were refreshing to him after many years of dealing with power struggles and manipulation to no end daily. He can't remember the last time he found himself conversing with someone else outside of his DC bubble and in the world of politics. There was something different about her even though he can't exactly pinpoint what that is. Maybe it's because she's a stranger, an outsider that lived a completely different world from him.

"So what has been troubling your mind this time around?" she asked as she tears her gaze from the view above to look at him from her side.

"Were you always this curious person given your fondness of asking questions?" He jokingly replied.

"Well not everyone can say that they went stargazing once with a former president so I might as well seize the opportunity," she fired back which made Fitz chuckle.

"One of the best places to go stargazing is at the Channel Islands National Park. Believe me when I say that it's an astronomer's paradise. We can sail easily from here to there and at the same time you get to explore the surrounding islands," he said as his eyes wandered around the sweeping view of the night sky above them.

"Well, that sounds lovely. Maybe if you weren't leaving so soon"

"I'm going to miss being here. It's been so long since I've been back that I forgot just how vastly different it is to be here compared to Washington. Here I have a view. From the sea and its sparkling shoreline especially at sunset or the Santa Ynez Valley just behind me. Back in the White House, there is no view…because the view was I, as President. You don't get a view when you're President."

"Well, now you have a reason to come back here and then maybe revisit that little sailing plan of yours."

"I guess you're right. " Fitz said while nodding to her reply. He then turned to her side and finds himself looking in direct eye contact with her.

"You're free now Fitz. Free to do whatever you want. Free to live the life that you want."

* * *

It was his last night in California before he goes back to resume his life on the opposite coast. Fitz was busy going through his luggage and making sure that everything is in place. As he was in the middle of fixing his carry on, he heard a soft knock on the door of the guesthouse to which he responded with 'come in'. Georgina slowly steps inside the space while carrying two coffee mugs with her.

"Tea?" She offered while handing the other mug to him.

"Thanks, George."

"I can see that you're all packed for tomorrow. Your flight is before lunchtime right?" Georgina took a seat at the small couch situated near him as she looks at his bags all neatly arranged. "Yeah I leave for the airport right after breakfast," Fitz replied after zipping his carry on and taking a seat next to his cousin.

"I wish you would stay longer Fitz. One month still feels so short. Maybe next time perhaps."

"I think one month is already too much and besides I have an institute to run. I'm needed there."

Georgina simply nodded as she sips into her mug. "Well, I hope you enjoyed your stay here. You know that you are always welcome to come back." He smiled in response as he takes a sip from his cup.

"I've been thinking you know…about our talk the other night…about me and Olivia, " Fitz apprehensively said. Initially, the purpose of this trip was for the institute yet it has become more of a personal one for him especially now that he has shared with his cousin the dealings of his personal life, particularly with his and Olivia's relationship. George brought her mug close to her chest and nodded again signaling for him to continue.

"I think I'll just let things be between the two of us. I mean don't you think I'm making too much of a big deal out of this and besides the two of us…this thing and whatever it is…we seemed to be okay. We are okay. We're not constantly arguing and having fights with each other. She does her thing and I do mine. We're just…we're fine. We're fine."

"Well okay then," was all his cousin simply replied to his ramblings.

"So that's it? Just okay?" Fitz questioned back with a twinge of annoyance that can be heard in his tone.

"Yes, I said okay. Was there something else that you were expecting me to say?"

"What is your problem?" He further pressed and now clearly annoyed.

She stayed silent and gave herself a minute or two to avoid this conversation escalating into an argument. Whenever the topic is about _her_ , it clearly is a sore topic for him and maybe that's the reason why he never brought up anything about her and their relationship when he got here almost a month ago. But just how long can he keep it in and just let things be so to speak?

"I don't have a problem," she calmly answered.

"It's you. You know you do but you just keep on avoiding it. Why? Why are you so scared, Fitz? To lose her isn't it because then you'll have to relive the pain? I mean that has always been your constant fear but guess what? You have been stuck in this emotional chaos that is causing you nothing but pain even though you two are both okay as you said so. So what happens when she meets someone or when you meet someone? Are you two going to continue this thing because you two are fine or just drop it like a hot potato? Have you two ever thought about that? Left and right you keep on questioning about this relationship yet you don't intend to face your doubts and you won't because you're scared. Or maybe you're scared to move on. Scared of change when life has been pulling you in different directions. Telling you to take a different turn instead of always running back to what you're familiar with."

"You know what just forget about what I said. Let's just drop this talk. I get it, George. You don't like Olivia and clearly, you are not a fan of the relationship." He stood up from his seat and starts walking to the kitchenette to grab a drink. One that is preferably harder.

"This has nothing to do with whether I like Olivia or not and you know that. If you're relying on people's opinions about this relationship, well Fitz I'm pretty sure you are smart enough to figure out what those are ever since this affair came to the light." Georgina stood up from her seat as well while Fitz still has his back faced towards her.

"Look, I don't want to fight especially because it's your last night so I'll just end this talk with this. You obviously have a lot of questions troubling you to the point that you feel like you're drowning in them. It's scary and I know you're scared of getting hurt over and over again. You know the saying that everything you've wanted is on the other side of fear. Well, I believe that to be true. Of course, there is that fear of failing but maybe that could actually guide you in finding what it is you really want if you just try."

* * *

 _Present Time_

"Well having someone to talk to has become a rare privilege for so I might as well take this opportunity I guess. We only have one hour so what is it that you want to ask?"

"Um so how are you?" Fitz asked, unsure as to how to approach this correctly.

"Still living. You know how it goes. Three meals every day, one hour for exercise or walking around, and tons of books to read," Jake said dryly in response.

"So what have you been reading?" He casually asked in hopes to break the ice.

"Like I said we only have one hour so just ask whatever the hell it is that you want to ask before you further waste your time here."

Where exactly does he start? Before going here, there were a lot of things going in his mind especially after his last talk with Georgina. His trip made him entertain again one of his deepest fears and insecurities that never stopped haunting him up to this day.

 _Does Olivia love him?_

Just stating out that question out loud even to himself almost makes him feel sick. For the past almost decade, Fitz has spent an enormous amount of time thinking about that fear to the point that he could almost feel it eat himself up. Yet at the same time, he spent all these years even during the darkest hours believing that she still loves him and will always do so.

 _It just has to be. Right?_

Or was he just convincing himself all along? Convincing himself of this story that he believed in even though it can be argued to be far from the truth when you looked at how things played out. He once told Abby as he was trying to rationalize with her back then after the ordeal with Andrew to find a line—a story that she can tell to herself to pull her way out of the darkness. It didn't even have to be true as long she believes in it. Fitz now shuddered at that memory as it made him think back to that time after their breakup and the stories he would tell to himself. Stories that he believed in but weren't real anymore during that time – Vermont, jam, and now…now he feels stuck. He feels like he is trapped as he finds himself perpetually questioning if any of those are real.

 _What the fuck is the truth? How I can get out of this greyness?_

He frustratingly asked himself after taking off from Santa Barbara. He then thought about the reasons as to why she doesn't and out of all the things that he can recall of it all boiled down to two things: their fight that revealed that she didn't want him and then there's, Jake. He then felt like he was choosing between two evils and the lesser evil he felt was the latter.

At one point, Jake can be considered the strongest piece of evidence when it comes to Olivia's unclear feelings. Combined with Georgina's words and his unpleasant trip down memory lane, Fitz suddenly realized that what if all along confronting him would help him give a sense of clarity. As his cousin said, everything you wanted is on the other side of fear and Jake very much represents one of his fears. Given that and seeing that he was mid-way to crossing the country back to DC, he then alerted his pilot of this detour and that's how he ended up here.

Not wanting to waste any more time as well, he finally decided to come forward with what has been occupying his mind. "You and Olivia," he clenches his fist to get control of his emotions.

" _She loves you right?"_

There it was, voicing out one of the many thoughts that hounded his mind for years. He was met with silence and it felt like time stopped as Jake continues to not say anything. After what felt like a minute or two he finally spoke up, "No, she does not."

"That's impossible, Jake!" Fitz quickly snapped back.

"Fitz if you're here for me to soothe your insecurity then here it is, Olivia doesn't love me because you're the one she truly loves. Their problem solved."

"Stop playing games Jake and just tell me the truth!"

He then sees Jake shaking his head while looking down. With his hands clasped in front of him, he lets out a small laugh, which further irritated him.

"Looking back now, I find it funny how we both knew that she was sleeping with both of us and we just let it happen. Doesn't it sound a bit pathetic to you? We were both aware of the other and knew how the other wants to be with her so much. Yet we let her go back and forth between the two of us while hoping that she'll eventually stop. I think she liked the convenience of this arrangement so to speak, in between loving a married man and having her backup available guy…makes her feel assured that she will always never run out of options. Let's face it; we actually made the situation easy for her. Still, I wanted to say to myself 'how stupid and weak can you be just for someone's love when she's in love with someone else, fucking with someone else while fucking you'. But I let myself be available to her whenever she needed me because I love her that much."

As Fitz listened he realized right there and then that Jake, the guy who was once his worst enemy, just voiced out what has been going through his mind. He continued to remain silent as he lets the familiarity of those thoughts sink in.

"You want the truth? Well, here we go. My entire relationship with Olivia was dependent on you, Fitz. There were times—multiple times that I thought that she's finally choosing me over you.

When she confessed that she has feelings for me

 _Do you have feelings for him? I don't know_

Running away to the island

 _You went away with Jake_

Thinking that I finally have my chance after you two broke up and that time before my wed— look I let myself believe those because I love her. But really whenever she's with me it's because I'm the thing that she has when she believes that you two shouldn't be together or that she can't have you," Jake glumly said as he remembers those familiar words that were laid out to him not so long ago.

"That doesn't make sense Jake! You two have something…spent time together and all that. She left and chose to go to the island with you! Just the two of you and that standing in the sun shit! Jake, you had her all to yourself and when you two came back to DC, she was clearly happy there! You have those memories together! What do I have?" Fitz rambled on as this conversation was starting to become more and more complicated for him. Little by little he can feel his emotions slipping out of his hold.

"You have her love, Fitz. Look running away with me to the island wasn't enough for her. It definitely wasn't enough for her to fall in love with me. She went back. She chose to go back." Jake calmly replied in return. A sharp contrast to the erratic and strong current wave of emotions that were coming out from Fitz.

"Again it doesn't make sense! She was clearly more comfortable being with you than being with me. How can you not be her choice then? How can that not be love? None of this makes sense!"

"I was the easier route for her and therefore it keeps her in control. We both know how that is very important to her. Let me ask you this when you're only considered because you're easy, safe, and convenient, do you think any of that spells out love?"

"But love is…love is being with someone who makes you feel safe," Fitz said back while looking at him completely confused.

"Look Fitz I can't give you the answers that you're looking for because I simply don't have them. Or maybe you actually already have those answers already in mind and just like Olivia, you're using me as your tool to prove them."

"Jake it's not like…whatever I'm going to go now. Sorry for bothering you and wasting your time." Fitz said as he starts to stand up from his chair. The moment he turned his back to approach his exit, Jake spoke from behind him.

"You and she are actually quite alike in some ways you know. Have you ever thought about that? I'll leave you with this piece of advice that I also shared with Olivia a couple of years ago."

He turned around to face him for one last time before officially making his exit.

"Just tell your truth, Fitz. Tell her how you really feel. Otherwise, you'll continue feeling trapped and shackled even though you're not the one who's spending his life behind bars."

* * *

A/N: I decided to cut this chapter shorter compared to what I intended it to be. This was one actually for me, one of the hardest chapters to write and the one that follows it will definitely be even more challenging. Also, I think it needs to be reiterated that this story: a) follows whats happened in canon and b) the genre mainly circles on angst and drama with a side of romance. If you don't like reading about Jake and Olitz's unhealthy habits then there are definitely a lot of wonderful stories here that is more suited to your taste then. I always wanted to write and read a post series fanfic about Olivia and Fitz and I think to achieve that, it needs to stay true to what we watched over the past seven seasons. Still, I look forward to reading your comments and feedback.

After confronting this "lesser evil", will Fitz or Olivia face the other one then? What "evils" do guys think that they still need to confront when it comes to themselves and their relationship? I'm curious to hear your thoughts.


	7. Hibiki 21

Olivia was in the middle of her nighttime routine when she hears someone knocking on her front door. It was nearing midnight so she wondered who would still be up at this hour that needed her. She grabbed her kimono as she went outside of her bedroom to see who it was.

"Coming! Who is it?"

The person on the other side didn't answer her and just continued knocking. After taking a peep she lets out a small gasp when she saw that it was Fitz and immediately opens it to let him in. Before she can even utter a word or even get over her surprise with his unexpected visit, she felt his lips crushing hard on hers. At first, she was trying to register in her mind on what was happening but it wasn't too long before she responded to his bruising kiss.

"When did you get back?" Olivia asked in between his frantic kisses and his hands roaming madly all over her body. She can smell a hint of whiskey as he kisses her wildly.

"A couple of hours ago"

"Fitz it's–oh….it's late ugh"

Fitz ignored her remarks as he continued feverishly kissing her with his lips now attacking her neck and near her pulse point. Her vanilla-scented lotion was further driving him wild as he proceeds to pick her up. As he brings them both to her bedroom, he uses his other free hand to untie her robe while he feels her hot breath near his ear making him work faster in bringing them to her bed. Upon reaching their destination, he lays her down and takes a step backward to take a look at her. After tipping his shoes off, he then started to pull over his sweater while unbuckling his belt.

"Take off your clothes."

Hearing her breath hitch after that statement, Olivia starts to peel off her night robe followed by her nightgown as Fitz approaches the bed. He pushes her back to lie down and moves her closer to the foot of the bed as he sinks to his knees in front of her. He gently caresses the back of her legs getting small whimpers out of her while he brings his hands higher until it reaches the sides of her black silk panties. Her parted thighs tremble against his touch when she feels him tug down her last piece of clothing.

"I need to taste you," he said with his voice heavy with desire as he looks at the vision laid out in front of him.

"Fitz," she whispers out which made him look up at her. As she looks down, she finds his eyes deeply dark with arousal and had a predatory glint to them. Slowly, he spreads her thighs wide and takes in sight every inch of her moist skin while he hears small whimpers coming from above. She then sees him start planting kisses on the inside of her thighs; leaving open mouth kisses and circling her bare center, making her body convulse the closer she feels him to where she wants him the most. With her back arched, she gasped out when his tongue starts licking her sopping folds in long, slow strokes. "You smell so fucking good. I missed you, baby," he huskily said with his breath warm against her aching skin. He kisses and gently sucks her lower lips including her oversensitized nub earning loud moans out of her. Warm and wet all over as his tongue traces her opening, he then spreads her lips causing more of her juices to spill out. He greedily feasts on her, not letting go anytime soon after being apart for a month.

"Oh god, fuck baby." She grabs on to his hair tightly with her eye closed as she feels herself start to get lost in the overwhelming sensation of his tongue-lashing. The sounds of his sucking were further adding to her already heightened state of arousal as she starts to move her hips and ride his face. She feels like a tidal wave is about to crash right through her as she grinds herself against him.

"Fitz, I'm so close. Don't stop," she cried out in pleasure. Sliding his hands beneath her ass, he pulled her further and deeper to him, still feeling like he is not getting enough of his fill. Her cries start turning into screams as she feels herself get closer to the edge. "Oh fuck baby I'm going to cum." The moment she feels his tongue slid deep into her wet heat, her world turns black and all she hears are her loud cries as she gives in to the waves of pleasure.

As the rays of the sun pour into the curtains, Olivia can feel her eyes start to flicker open as she feels the daylight creaking in. Slowly waking up from her deep slumber, she immediately feels his warmth and the faint scent of whiskey awakens her senses as she turns around to look at the sleeping figure beside her. Lying on his stomach with his left arm hanging above him, Olivia immediately concluded that he must be feeling worn out from yesterday's travel and their late night to early morning activity added to it. Seeing that he was still deep in his sleep, she moves closer to him by hovering above his body and lying gently over his broad back. Between the two of them, it is usually always her to be the first one to wake up after spending the night together. Maybe because back then during the campaign until their on-and-off affair, she always felt the sense of urgency for fear of being caught while at the same time frustrated with just how difficult the circumstances around them are. But to simply watch him sleep was a rare occasion for her then. Snapping out of her thoughts, Olivia lets her fingers run through his wild and untamed curls as she nuzzles herself closer to him. She started to notice that he developed a shade darker and that his cheeks still had a rosy tint to it. Fitz was always fond of the outdoors and seeing his newly tanned skin has her thinking that he must have enjoyed spending a lot of time under the California sun. It was a side of him that she never got to witness as she was used to confining him to the walls of the White House, his then marriage, and nothing beyond it for Olivia believed in the longest time that the right thing was for her and Fitz to not be involved in each other's life.

Yet here they are. No more marriage and no more White House within their reach.

After what felt like half an hour of simply doing nothing but just observing him sleep, she started to feel him stir a little. Quickly, she gets off his body and returns to her side of the bed as she watches him roll over to his back. As Fitz started to slowly open his eyes, she can see him squinting a little bit from the sunlight that has entered her room.

"Hi"

Moving his head to the sound of her voice, she can still see his eyes looking heavy from his deep slumber. "What time is it?"

"I think it's almost seven-thirty. Umm, are you hungry? I can ask Luther to buy us those bagels that you like. The one just around the corner."

Before responding to her, Fitz reached for his phone nearby to see if he has any missed calls or messages. "I…I have to be in the institute this morning." Quickly he starts to move away from the bed and looks for his clothes that were scattered on the carpeted floor. "Before that, I have to go to the hotel first and get change."

"Right. The institute," she mumbles in response. As she continues to hear the quick shuffling of clothes in the background, she started to get dressed as well as she picks up her kimono nearby and quickly wraps herself around it. After tying the knot tightly and giving her hair a quick fix, she sees him all dressed up and starting to head out of her bedroom.

"Marcus, hi. Yeah, I'm back. Late last night and…yeah...look I'll be in the institute before ten. Okay. Bye." While grabbing his jacket before heading out, Fitz looked behind him and saw her standing not too far from him. Looking straight into her eyes he finds himself seeing her for what feels like the first time since leaving for his trip. Slowly he approaches her until they were a few inches apart from each other with their eyes still staring at each other.

Suddenly, it dawned on him that it has been a full month since they were in each other's presence.

A full year since the Republican convention for Mellie's campaign, since that conversation as two people living two separate worlds, no longer sharing the same dreams and desires.

A full two years since their relationship came into the light before everything went south.

Two full years since that time when at one point for him, it seemed like all will be right in the world because they were together and in love with each other.

Quickly wanting to put those jarring thoughts aside, he closed the distance between them as he leans down for a kiss and wraps his arms around her. He feels her softly sigh into the kiss and it wasn't long before it started to become sensuous as she rubs her hands up and down against his chest. Before things go further, he breaks it off and looks into her eyes once again, with his arms still wrapped around her petite body.

"I have to go now. Bye, Liv."

Minutes after watching him leave, Liv finds herself still standing in the same spot and staring at her closed door. Thinking of what last night meant and if it means anything moving forward from here.

* * *

"Well, it looks like you had a fun night. Fitz must be back in town then judging from those love marks". Abby quipped after taking a bite out of her avocado toast. She and Olivia agreed to meet up for lunch at a nearby café from Abby's workplace before Liv proceeds to her meeting at Georgetown later that afternoon.

"Abby!" Liv annoying called her out as she looks down at her order with her face now scrunched while poking through her Nicoise salad.

"Look Liv I know that summer is about to end soon but I think it's still a bit way too early to be wearing a high neck top. Also, your concealer is not doing its job of hiding your presidential hickeys"

Olivia immediately places her hand over the side of her neck where she spent a great deal of time this morning covering those marks. Now feeling embarrassed, she started looking for her compact mirror while fumbling with her top's collar.

"Well thanks, Abby for the reminder and for being so helpful," she dryly said while rolling her eyes.

"Geeze Liv, ease up a bit. So you had sex with Fitz last night, what's the big deal about it anyway?" Abby casually retorted as she continued munching on her sandwich.

Feeling more uncomfortable with where this is going, Olivia tries to get the attention of the waiters for her to bill out. "You know what, I think I'll go ahead. Thanks for making time to have lunch with me."

"Liv come on! Hey! Look okay, I'm sorry for offending you..and we still have thirty minutes before my break is over. Okay okay, no more sex talks and no more Fitz mentions."

After hearing out her pleas, Olivia stopped fixing her bag and returned it to the seat beside her. Thinking that she still had too much time on her hands before her meeting, she decided to stay and let go of what just took place.

"Okay. I'm sorry too Abs." She gave out a small smile to which Abby mirrored right back at her.

"So anyway, you know this segment in Sally's show where we usually do a profile on DC's political influencers. Well since it's going to be Women's Equality Day on August 26th, how about we do a feature on you? I'll send the talking points and just drop by at the studio for the interview…."

* * *

It's been a couple of days since his return to the institute and things were moving along in the office. His days lately have been filled with back-to-back meetings and updates from the cases on hand to developments on the expansion plans. Today was simply another one after finishing a team meeting earlier. He checks his watch to see that it was past forty-five minutes after seven in the evening which means that Flynn must be home by now. There was something that he was going to update him on and they agreed earlier for him to call when he's done at work. Taking his phone out of his pocket, he scrolls through his contacts and hits the call button upon reaching his name. After a couple of rings, his call wasn't picking up so he decided to leave him a message asking if he's free to talk now. With no message back, he then opted to contact their home number to see if maybe his cousin George is there.

"Hello"

His ears perked up in surprise upon hearing the strong British accent on the other line. Not expecting to hear that voice again.

"Serena?"

"Fitz? Is that you? Oh hi there. Wait I'm sure you're looking for either Flynn or George"

"Serena, hi. Umm yeah, I was supposed to call Flynn but he hasn't been picking up. Is George there?"

"Well actually they left a little bit earlier for George's high school reunion I think. Do you want me to leave a message for them?"

"Oh it's okay I'll just send Flynn a text message. Thanks, Serena."

"You're welcome then Mr. President"

Fitz lets out a chuckle to her response. Curious as to what she's doing there, he decides to dive into this conversation.

"So did you finally agree to George's offer to abandon your five-star hotel and stay there instead?"

"Well let's just say your cousin is quite a convincing lady. Plus it's a nice break from being confined to the four corners of a room even if it is a Presidential Suite in the Four Seasons."

"That I can agree on. I mean now that I'm back in DC, it's hotel suites, and room service once again for me."

"Don't you have a home there?"

He paused for a moment before answering back as he finds himself getting caught off guard by this. The change in the tone of her voice was evident. Gone was her refined yet snarky tone and was replaced with one that is half inquisitive and half sympathetic.

"No, I don't. I…well I guess you can say that I live in a hotel."

"So you don't own a house or any property? I find that hard to believe."

"I...I do it's just not here in DC. Umm, how long are you staying in Santa Barbara?" Like a knee jerk response, he immediately shifted the conversation to avoid prolonging his discomfort to her question.

"Well, I'm not yet sure. I bought a one-way ticket going here so I guess it's up to me unless there's some emergency back home that requires my presence."

"Have you ventured outside of town? There's so much to see and do in California."

"Yeah, a little. Your family here has been kind and wonderful in taking me to places here and there. It's been really good. A good distraction as well from my ongoing divorce proceedings back home."

"I wish I can give you some credible advice about that but I'm not a good example here. I guess coming from someone who also went through it, just want to say that things will eventually be okay Serena. It just takes time but in the end, it will all work out."

"Thanks, Fitz."

"Well, you're welcome. From a fellow divorcee."

He heard her laugh in response as he feels himself smile to his phone.

"Oh, by the way, I just remember now. One of my friends, she's an editor from Vanity Fair. I was chatting with her recently because I have a scheduled photoshoot with them soon. She's looking into doing a piece about something that I think is related to what your institute is doing."

"Exonerating those who are wrongfully convicted you mean"

"Yes, that exactly! Anyway, I mentioned this to Flynn and he said he'll look into it but look we're talking now so this is the perfect opportunity to bring it up."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Okay great. With whom can she get in touch with?"

"I can send you my colleague's contact details. What's your number and I'll send it there?"

"Sure here you go…"

* * *

"Hmm now, this is pretty impressive," Olivia hummed in delight after taking a sip of her drink.

"That comes as no surprise when you're drinking a Hibiki 21-year-old blend. A work of pure genius," Fitz said back.

"Seriously this is dangerously drinkable. Where did you find this?"

"It was during my trip to Japan for the APEC meeting back in my first term. We had a whiskey tasting session during one of our nights there and that's how I discovered this gem here."

He reached for the bottle to pour another round to her pleasure. After placing the bottle down, he saw his phone beside it lit up indicating an incoming message.

I _just had a chat with my friend from Vanity Fair. She and her team are very excited at the prospect of interviewing you for this feature!_

 _Thanks, Serena. I informed my partner at work about this and he'll be in touch with her._

 _Sounds great! Goodnight Fitz :)_

 _Goodnight_

A small smile formed in his face after hitting the send button and locking his phone. She is really one of the nicest people you'll ever meet just as Flynn said. He rolls over to the other side of the bed and found Olivia still enjoying the rest of her drink. While on his way out of the office, he received a text message from her asking if he wants to get Gettysburger tonight as she was craving for their freedom fries. He picked her up at her apartment and insisted on having dinner in his hotel room instead much to her dismay as she was already dressed down in her comfy loungewear while he reasoned out that he needed to make an important phone call to Flynn.

"Okay I think I had enough of this good stuff," she said with a giggle while placing her drink down on the bedside table beside her. She then moves closer to him and looks up to find him appearing somewhat pre-occupied.

"Got something on your mind there?" she cautiously asked.

"Liv, what do you think of Vanity Fair doing a feature on my institute?"

"You mean like a company profile of some sort? I think it sounds good. Wait, this could be a perfect opportunity to cover your life post-presidency and the public will get to know more about the work you're doing since then. It is just an insert, a spread, or a cover as well? You haven't done any publicity ever since you left office so this might just be the start. Has any of your team talked to the editor? Wait I think I know someone from VF."

Fitz instantly saw the wheels turning in her head the more she talked about it. For a while there, he saw a glimpse of her old self as the formidable fixer.

"I think it will just be an interview about you know what the institute stands for, reforming criminal justice, and something like that. I don't think it is going be a feature on me, so no covers. Besides I don't have any interest to do some sort of PR on how I have been living my life after leaving office "

"Okay however Fitz, the public will always be curious and interested anytime there's mention about how life is going for former presidents. Life after the White House and such now that you're a normal citizen again."

She was, in fact, one of those who are curious about his plans now that he's no longer President and under the intense scrutiny of the public eye. If she's being completely honest, she can't help but wonder if she has a place in it and to question him on this feels completely new for her. Fitz used to be so vocal especially when it comes to them to the point that his unwavering wishes can feel too overwhelming at times. She doesn't really know if this Fitz still has or think of those now.

"Mellie says hi by the way when I was at the residence the other day."

"Oh that's nice. Well hi too I guess," she said, quickly snapping out of her thoughts.

"Do you miss it?"

"Miss what?" She looked at him with her brows knitted together as she figures out what he is talking about.

"The White House," Fitz calmly says.

She looked down and wonders about his question. She wondered more as to why he raised that question.

"Have you ever thought of going back? You and Mellie make a good team and I think she'd be very happy to have you and you know lead the country together. I mean you're the best Liv"

"I think Mellie is doing fine on her own. She's very capable of her job. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I just thought that it was your dream you know? I mean isn't the White House and working there always your dream and lifelong goal…and well you're free now and B613 is over."

For a second there, Olivia was reminded of how her old self would have loved to hear this. Back to that time when she strongly felt that winning the White House, her candidate managed by her so to speak, is what she deserves.

"What do you think?"

"Well I…I think you deserve to live out your dream especially when you've wanted this for so long. You've worked so hard for it and you're the best and smartest person I know out there. You owe it to yourself to live the life you've always wanted."

"What about you?"

"Me?"

"Do you miss the White House?"

Me? No, not really. I mean yeah there are some nice parts. After eight years of being President, there are some things that you just get used to. But no I don't miss being constantly under the microscope and all those restrictions. I like this more – the institute work and helping people."

"And this is something you want right, the kind of life that you want? What you always wanted?" She wondered if this conversation was only threading along the lines of professional or career goals or if it could also mean something more, something more personal.

Now it was Fitz turn to ponder on her question. There was a moment of silence between them as he thinks of how to answer her. After a few minutes, he looks back at her and sees her curious expression as he began to speak.

"Well I…I think I'm finally doing something right here. Making a change I suppose or trying to, I hope. So yeah I guess."

She gave him a half-smile after his response. She knows that the institute means a great big deal for him and realized that maybe, after all, things did work out for the best for both of them.

Even if it meant that no Vermont is waiting at the end.

I _miss you_

 _There is no us! There is no this! There is no Vermont! There Is no future!_

 _Olivia will never go to Vermont for you_

 _I got here because I managed to escape you. Like Liv managed to escape you_

Eyes snap open, he blinks twice before trying to make sense of his surroundings. Covered in cold sweat and with his heart beating loudly, still shaken from what he just came out of. He cautiously turns around to find her sleeping soundly with the sheets barely covering her naked form while blissfully unaware of the horrors that have just followed him. He felt like pinching himself to make sure that what he is seeing his real. That she is right here beside him

 _Like Liv managed to escape you._

Suddenly he feels the room getting smaller and his throat getting dryer after hearing Mellie's statement that just haunted him. Reminding him back to that time when he felt like he was almost drowning in the painful truth but still trying to keep his head afloat with what little he has left in his life.

After a few minutes of trying to even his breathing, he carefully gets up to not wake her and rubs his eyes to fully rouse himself up as he goes to the bathroom. Squinting from the harsh fluorescent lights, he quickly splashes some water to his face. As he slowly looks in the mirror, all he sees are worried and distraught eyes looking back at him. This is the second time that he gets these jumbled flashbacks of moments that he had buried deep in his mind. Realizing that getting back to sleep is not happening, he steps out and goes to the living area in his suite. He finds the bottle of Hibiki they drank earlier on the coffee table and sees that it still wasn't empty.

After taking a sip, he grabs his phone nearby and sees that it is a little past two in the morning. He had a couple of messages and decided to read through them. While scrolling, he saw something that caught his eye and opened it.

 _Flynn and George just got back from their dinner. I told them about your call earlier and mentioned to Flynn the Vanity Fair feature again. I can tell they miss you since they asked if you mentioned anything about visiting here again soon._

He lets out a sigh of relief after reading her message. Little by little, he started to feel like he was feeling his normal self and can keep his emotions at bay. Although it was already approaching midnight there, he decided to message her back.

 _Yeah, I messaged Flynn and told him that we'll talk tomorrow instead. I miss it there, especially the beach._

Just right after he hit send, he immediately sees that she's typing back indicating that she is currently online.

 _Surprised to hear back from you considering how late it is there._

 _I can't sleep. Woke up and couldn't go back to sleep anymore_

 _Have you tried counting sheep *sheep emoji*_

 _Okay, I'm kidding. You alright? Feel like talking about it?_

He smirked at her attempt to humor him. Without hesitation, he pressed call.

"Hello"

"Hello Serena"

"What seems to be troubling you this time, Mr. President?" she casually teased him in her posh British accent.

"Always with the questions Ms. Leong," He joked back.

"Well, something must be since you can't sleep when it is past two am there?"

"I had a bad dream…sort of. I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep anymore so I'm trying to distract myself I guess until sleep comes around again."

"So I'm a distraction then?" she asked followed by a short chuckle.

He chuckled back in response as he ponders on what to say next to her.

"When my marriage was falling apart, I had a hard time sleeping. I figured I was experiencing insomnia due to a bloody stressful time in my life so I did like almost every remedy out there, limit caffeine, chamomile tea, melatonin. Still I had a difficult time fixing myself. I thought after officially ending things with my marriage that I'd be getting a better sleep schedule afterward. However, I found myself still having bouts of insomnia from time to time. It wasn't until I started doing yoga that I was able to manage it."

"Yoga?"

"Yes, yoga and some meditation. You know maybe you should look into it. Who knows you might find yourself liking it."

"A former President turned yogi"

"Well, I think it has a lovely ring to it, don't you? Plus I'm sure you'll be attracting more ladies when they hear that Former President Grant who also happens to be the most eligible bachelor in America was spotted at a yoga studio."

"You know you are starting to sound like Flynn." Both of them shared a laugh at that comparison.

"I assume you have more free time now that you're no longer President. It's the perfect time to try out things like that sailing excursion you mentioned awhile back. Live out your post-presidency life you know."

"Is that why you bought a one-way ticket here to America? Living out your life as a soon-to-be free woman."

"Maybe. I guess I am."

Sensing that it was getting pretty late there, he decided then that it was time to hang up.

"Well, I'm not going to keep you up late there. Thanks for the chat, Serena. Goodnight and sleep well"

"No problem. Goodnight and sweet dreams Fitz.

After their phone call, he picked up the now empty bottle of whiskey and discarded it in the kitchen. He checks the time and sees that it is almost three am. Knowing that he has a full morning later, he went back to his room to try and get back to sleep. As soon as he crawls to his side of the bed, he felt Liv reach out to him and grabs him closer to her.

"Why you up?" She asked with her eyes still closed and her voice sounding full of sleep.

"I woke up a little while ago and couldn't go back to sleep," He said while softly stroking her back.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Things are fine. Go back to sleep." He felt her snuggle closer to him as she hugs him tighter against her small frame and places her head on his chest. Feeling the slow and steady rise of her chest, Fitz places a kiss on her forehead as he starts matching his breathing with hers. Olivia is here with him right now and that is all that matters. This right now is not a dream and despite those haunting words, she's here by his side.

 _Everything is fine_ , he mutters to himself before shutting his eyes closed.

* * *

A/N: Hi everyone! Firstly, I hope you are all staying safe in the comfort of your home. To all the frontliners especially to the ones who would be reading this, thank you for everything that you do every day!

Tbh there was a moment that I wasn't sure If I could still continue this. I have had many times of opening the word document for the past months only to end up with nothing so to come up with a finished chapter actually surprises me. It is not easy to continue something when you find yourself slowly losing interest over your subjects. But then I was reminded of that time when I had the idea for this story around 1.5 years ago. Not too long after the show's finale which by the way just recently had its two years anniversary. I hope I can update more while we're all experiencing this "new normal" and as always looking forward to your reviews. Also feel free to hmu at twitter: jacquemusamour


	8. Bowmore

"Hmm this feels nice," Olivia hummed to herself while enjoying a relaxing bath in her newly bought claw foot bathtub. Closing her eyes, she relishes soaking under the warm and fragrant bubble bath. Not too long after, she starts to feel strong and toned arms wrap her midsection, bringing her closer to him.

"God I needed this." Fitz groaned along behind her while she settles comfortably against his chest. It was a cool late summer evening on a Sunday, a day that is normally reserved for weekly dinners with her dad. However much to her surprise, her dad called her this morning stating that he had to cancel because he had a date scheduled for this evening. Olivia didn't know whether to feel embarrassed or shocked upon hearing this information for it was Rowan out of all people. Not really having much of a choice, she wished him good luck and said that it was no problem to reschedule. Suddenly finding herself all alone, she called Fitz to check if he was free for the night.

"You sound a little stressed. Everything okay at work?"

"Well it sort of feels like I'm starting to have a lot on my plate ever since I got back here. With now overseeing two offices and then there's the upcoming benefit gala. Wait you already know about that one right?"

"Yup the institute's first annual gala. Do you need help there by the way?" She received an email invite about it recently and Marcus mentioned it too when she visited the office a couple of days ago to get her latest check payment. Aside from her, the other gladiators were also invited but it was only Abby so far who she knows has confirmed to attend.

"Nah we're good. Ivy and her marketing team are on top of it," Fitz said, quickly dismissing her offer knowing that this kind of work is not something that interests her. Frankly he was a bit surprised to hear her offer a hand when planning events was not her cup of tea.

"Well do you want me to go through your speech? Just to proofread and such," she once again asked.

"Oh crap. I haven't started on that. Thanks for mentioning it Liv. Sure I'll share it with you and would love to get your thoughts especially when it's coming from the best," Fitz replied as he nuzzled to her neck making her giggle by the ticklish sensation. After shushing his teasing for a bit and warning him to not dare to tickle her, Liv finally relaxes in his arms.

"You got tanned by the way. Had a nice time in Santa Barbara? How was it?" she asked while holding one of his hands and softly massaging it with her thumbs.

"Dry and had the most amount of sun exposure in years. I did some surfing with Flynn while I was there. It's been too long since I have been out in the sun and to be close to the water was fun."

"Well when was the last time you visited? I think the last I can recall was still during the campaign trail."

"I went there almost two years ago. Short trip around Christmas time," he quietly said with the last part almost coming out as a whisper.

She suddenly froze after realizing what period he was referring to. Quickly, she closed her eyes in an attempt to not let her mind wander there and to manage her emotions. It was a good thing that they couldn't see each other's faces with how they are currently sitting. Fitz immediately felt the sudden uneasiness in the air and the silence between them getting more and more tense by the second. Fearing that this moment will quickly go bad, he thought of what to say to break the sudden strained atmosphere.

"Is that lavender I smell?"

Liv nodded back in response with her eyes still closed.

"Hmm smells good here. Thanks for preparing the bath." He then kisses her softly on her shoulder as he wraps his arms tighter around her. Olivia lets out a breath that she didn't even know that she was holding as she welcomes his embrace. She quietly thanked him in her mind for changing the subject.

"By the way while I was there we hired someone who will be playing a similar role to what Marcus is doing. His name is Ezra. He is still quite young. Just turned thirty but very passionate about criminal injustice."

"That sounds great Fitz. Are you going back there again now that there is a West Coast office?" She wondered now that things have been picking up for his institute if that meant he would be spending more time out of DC. As far as Olivia knows, he has been living in a hotel suite with no idea of whether he has any plans of looking for a permanent residence here. Aside from that, the only other place that she knows is his is the house in Vermont.

 _That is if it is still there._

"Well not anytime soon. I'll probably be visiting from time to time to check up on things but the head office is here in DC."

Olivia then thought of finally bringing up something that has been in her mind for some time now. She figured now seems like an appropriate time for it.

"Fitz"

"Hmm"

"You know I was thinking…what if you leave some of your stuff here so that you won't be always rushing in the morning to get back to the hotel just to get ready. Plus my place is along the way to the institute so it would be more convenient that way. What do you think?" She sheepishly asked, hoping that she was able to get her thoughts out straight. Since he has been splitting his time for a while now between here and the hotel, she figured it was only natural for him to move some of his stuff to make things easier so to speak.

Fitz considered for a moment before answering her back. It was something that he was not expecting especially coming from her but there's also no harm with what she is proposing, he supposes.

"I guess you're right. Is this something you're okay though? We're okay right?" He replied cautiously, wanting to get assurance that this won't be causing any trouble for them.

"Yeah of course. I mean this is just more practical for you and us too. I'll make some room in my closet for you okay," she casually replied.

"Okay then."

After a few minutes of silence, she turns around to face him and straddles over him. She takes a minute to look at him before leaning in and starts kissing his neck. With one of her palms softly cradling his jaw, she feels him start to groan as she continues planting small kisses on his neck and jawline. Ignoring his grunts, she begins moving against his hardening erection and rubs her hands teasingly over his chest.

"Ugh, fuck Liv" he grunted as he feels her grab his shaft and runs it up and down against her warm folds. He brings his hands to her thighs and starts rubbing slow circles on them making her whimper at his touch. The more she grinds herself against him, the louder and fuller her moans are becoming.

"Oh Fitz, need you." With his hands on her hips, he lifts her as she sinks herself onto him. Once he was fully in, they both moaned out loud at the feeling of being connected once again before he started thrusting in and out of her.

"Harder. Oh fuck"

Soon the room was filled with their heavy pants and loud cries together with the sound of the water splashing down the bathroom tiles as the two let their desires take over them.

* * *

With her phone on one hand against her ear, Olivia hurries to her front door to let Abby in. She was currently in the middle of a call with Senator Shaw and she was surprised to hear from him.

"Well yes thank you for that referral. Wait can you just wait a sec." She welcomes Abby in and signals her to drop off their take out on her dining table while she finishes this call.

"I know you said back then that you don't drink with your clients but actually I'm not a client here. I referred you to one plus we already had drinks together a few weeks back. So what do you say? Look it is just dinner and there are also some things that I would like to consult with you."

"About what?"

"A bill that I'm working on. I'll tell you more over dinner"

"You know what okay whatever. Look I have to go now. Bye."

After ending the call, she lets out a sigh as she walks towards the dining room to join Abby.

"Was I interrupting something important?" Abby asked upon seeing her while she was laying out their takeout from one of their favorite Thai restaurants nearby.

"Oh that was nothing. Can you pass me the papaya salad?" Olivia flippantly said as she settles in one of the dining chairs.

"Who were you just talking to?"

"It was Shaw. I mean Senator Shaw."

"Oh, so was that like a business call or I don't know something else perhaps?" Abby's eyes widened at her answer and it was obvious from the excitement in her voice that she was eager to know more.

"It is business-related. He called me to ask when I'm free to have dinner because he has some bill that he wants to consult with me."

"And you believe that?"

Olivia looks up from her salad and stares at her friend across from her with a confused expression.

Abby raised an eyebrow at her friend for not connecting the very obvious dots of this phone call. "Two single people meeting for dinner to discuss about work. Yeah right"

"Well whatever it's dinner between two professional acquaintances," Olivia replied with an eye roll as she went back to eating her salad.

"You mean a date with a very hot and single Senator! Come on you should be a little bit excited about this. When was even the last time that you were out on a…crap! Ugh my shirt!" Olivia quickly handed her with some napkins seeing her friend accidentally spilled sriracha on herself.

"Fuck! Not when I'm wearing white," Abby disgruntledly said with a huge frown splashed on her face while rubbing the stain with a damp napkin.

"Hey, Abs I don't think that's helping. Look why don't you just borrow a shirt and throw that into the hamper."

Quickly getting up from her seat, Abby walks to the bedroom and went straight to the closet. She began randomly opening doors to look for where her friend stores her casual clothing. While in the middle of her search, she got surprised when one of the closet doors revealed a row filled with mostly white and blue button-down shirts, a few suit jackets, and some business slacks. While on the floor are a couple of high-end oxford and brogue shoes. None of these clearly belong to her friend.

"Everything okay now?" Olivia asked upon seeing her friend returned to the dining room with a fresh clean shirt. Abby nodded as she returns to the chair she was occupying.

"Do you think Fitz would mind when he learns that you are going out on a date now that you two happen to be living together?"

Olivia looked up from her food, flabbergasted, and clearly stunned by what she just heard.

"Liv are you two back together? I mean it seems like he has moved in here."

"What? No! What are you even talking about?" She quickly denied with whatever her friend is claiming and she could only hope that Abby would stop trailing this conversation further. Not when she was especially caught off guard by it.

"His stuff is in here, Liv. I saw his clothes and shoes occupying your closet while I was looking for a shirt which could only mean you two decided to live in together."

"Abby it is not like that okay." Olivia then lowered her head, wanting to avoid Abby's inquisitive stares.

"Then what is it then? Because clearly none of these spells just being friends with benefits."

"It's…it's nothing okay! Fitz and I are not back together. I just suggested to him to leave some of his stuff here around because it is more convenient whenever he is here and he needs to go to work the next morning."

Abby wasn't convinced with what she's hearing from the person sitting in front of her and decided to speak out her thoughts. She thinks Olivia doesn't quite see how this situation looks like from an outsider's point of view.

"Olivia, just how long do you think this kind of arrangement is going to last? Don't you think that this could potentially complicate things? I'm just a bit concerned here for you. I thought you two agreed to be just casual or something but this here doesn't seem like that at all."

She didn't answer her back right away not when she could see what Abby is trying to point out. After a minute or two, she confronts and faces her friend again.

"We never really agreed on anything actually. It's just an understanding I suppose."

"What exactly does that mean?"

"There's no really discussion or anything like that between us ever since we…well since we—

"Started having sex again"

"Fitz and I are…we are just hanging out. He does his own thing and I do mine then we just, well you know"

"Have sex in between whenever you guys feel like it"

"You know what you are making it sound like this is a bad thing." Annoyed and starting to feel exhausted with this conversation, Olivia suddenly wishes for Abby to leave her alone instead.

"Well it actually does. What if feelings are involved here? This is Fitz we're talking about."

"And so? What about it?"

"Is Fitz aware that this is nothing more than just two exes hooking up? This is the guy who was hell-bent on spending his life with you. The guy who felt like his whole world is going to fall apart with just the thought of you being with another man. I mean you saw how it was with Jake."

"What does Jake even have to do with this conversation?" Olivia scoffed back at her for there was no reason or correlation at all for bringing up Jake's name into this.

"Hello because of the history that you three have. Come on Olivia, he would always get insecure when Jake is in the picture and would go crazy over the possibility of losing you to him. It's just quite hard to believe now that Fitz is fine with just staying casual or being in an open relationship."

"You know what Abby, things have changed since then. You keep on insisting that there is something here when there is none. People change and they move on. So can we please just drop this unnecessary sermon and frankly annoying interrogation of yours because I'm really starting to lose my appetite here."

Seeing that she has appeared to finally push her buttons or was close to doing so, Abby decides to no longer continue this talk they are having. Knowing her friend, getting her to open up especially when it concerns her personal relationship with her former boss never really ends well.

"Can please you hand me the fresh spring rolls"

* * *

"Thanks for the time Ezra and we are looking forward to seeing you at the gala. By the way, Marcus here will pick you up at the airport and take you to your hotel."

"Yeah man. You have my number right? Just message me when you're about to board. Bye and have a safe flight."

After their zoom meeting, Fitz and Marcus went over through some of the points raised during their video call with Ezra. They were in the process of building the west coast team and have been busy reviewing CV's as well as checking in on how the interviews have been going. Slowly but surely, things are starting to take shape for what they now call The Freedom Project which will be the official name they'll be launching at the gala for this chapter of his foundation that focuses on defeating criminal injustice.

"By the way is it final that Flynn and Georgina won't be attending? I'm in the middle of finalizing the guest list with Ivy for next Wednesday's dinner." Marcus asked.

"Oh yeah that I'm sure of. I was on the phone not too long ago with Flynn and he confirmed with me that they wouldn't be able to go. Anything else that you need from me before I head out?" Fitz answered while packing his laptop into his bag.

"Yeah actually I wanted to check with you if you're going with Liv so that I can advise Ivy to plot her seat next to yours. I know that the marketing team is currently reviewing the seating arrangement and checking for any changes that need to be done."

"What?" Fitz stops fixing his bag and looks at Marcus with his eyes narrowed at him.

"Is Liv going with you so that I can have her in your table and sit right next to you," Marcus repeated while reviewing some papers attached to the clipboard he is holding.

"No. No she's not. I mean she is going but she's not my date. I'm not bringing a date, Marcus," Fitz dismissively replied back.

"Okay so she'll be sitting next to Abby then. Is she bringing a plus one? I need to know should I need to save an extra seat for her."

"Don't people RSVP to this or doesn't marketing follow up on the response of these people? Actually why don't you ask Olivia herself instead of flooding me with these questions anyway."

Hearing the annoyance in his voice loud and clear, Marcus puts down the stack of papers on the nearby desk and looks straight at Fitz as he begins confronting him with this sour attitude of his.

"Alright what's the problem this time?"

"What problem?"

"Your crappy attitude tells me that something is wrong so what seems to be bothering you this time? Is there trouble between you and Liv?"

Getting more and more uncomfortable with this exchange, he drew in a long breath before speaking up again.

"Marcus there is nothing going on between me and Liv"

"So you two no longer doing that gray thing then? No more hanging out so to speak?

Marcus was only met back with his silence, which can then only mean that whatever this thing that is going on between the two of them is far from being over.

"So you two are still hooking up with each other then."

"Marcus it's not like that okay."

"You know if nothing is really going on here then you wouldn't even be so affected in the first place."

"Fine what else are your going to call me out on because it is starting to feel like I'm being reprimanded here for something I don't know"

"I may not exactly know the deal is between you and her but I can tell that you are obviously not fine with whatever this is."

"Look Marcus, I really have to go now. Just message me with whatever you need for next week's event. See you tomorrow then." With that he picks up his bag and heads out of the office with his agents following him behind.

"He and Liv are really fucked up," Marcus mutters to himself as he watches Fitz leave the building.

* * *

Standing in front of her mirror, Olivia has been debating for the past hour over which outfit she should wear for her dinner tonight with Senator Shaw. She keeps on telling herself that this is going to be just dinner and she wants to make sure that whatever she'll be wearing tonight won't be sending any mixed signals.

 _If this is going to be just dinner then you shouldn't be spending too much time on something so trivial. Just think instead of the possible work that you might get from this._

She thought to herself while holding a beige midi dress over her body. It was a simple medium beige button-down from Bottega Venetta that stops just right below her knees. Her other option was a navy crepe vest top that she bought recently from Theory and is best paired with its matching tailored pants. Somehow she finds herself leaning more towards the second option for the simple thought that wearing a dress automatically spells that this is a date.

Looking for some sort of mental relief, she hangs her options and returns to her bed. She looks at her watch and sees that she has less than two hours to get ready. While staring above at her ceiling, she can't help but think of the stuff that Abby was saying the other night. She felt like she was being judged for doing something wrong but for over which one though: for having Fitz move his stuff here in her apartment or for entertaining Shaw's dinner request.

When she brought up that idea with Fitz, she was mainly thinking that it was the most convenient option given how often he was at her place. She thought that she was saving him the hassle of always rushing and going back to the hotel. Plus she felt like it was only natural given their situation – whatever that maybe for them.

As she starts thinking about the dinner later, she can hear Abby's words asking her if Fitz is aware that what's going on between them is strictly casual.

 _What exactly does that mean? Not going exclusive? Is he fine with it? Well he must be when he doesn't seem to have any objections or whatsoever about it._

If she's being completely honest here, Olivia knows that she has not been committed at all. She hasn't committed to anyone for a long time now and along the way this is something that she became used to. She wonders though if the same goes for him.

 _Are there others ever since he left office for Vermont? Or has it only been just her?_

When she looks back over the past months since they resumed having sex, she knows she's been with other people. Even he knows that she has but he never said anything at all, from her very short fling with Curtis and her dealings with Jake

 _Jake._ Her eyes then widened when she remembered her last physical encounter with him. A night she wishes that never happened at all and something that should never be thought about ever again.

 _He must never find out._

Suddenly she hears her phone buzz making her snap out of her worries. It was Shaw informing her about their dinner reservations. She replied back saying that she'll see him soon as she gets up and begins getting ready for tonight.

 _The navy top and pants it is._

* * *

After flipping through every news channel, he feels like all of these news anchors are just reporting about the same thing and that nothing else is happening. Then again he thinks that it must be a good sign for it can only mean that everything is going well. It was a little past ten in the evening and Fitz was currently going through the news cycle before attempting to go to sleep. With a glass filled with scotch on one hand and a remote control on the other, he surfs through the channel as he tries to look for something that would catch his interest. Upon putting the glass back on the coffee table, he sees his phone light up indicating that he has a message.

 _Yoga for beginners. This video is a good start for those who are new and not yet really flexible_

He lets out a laugh after reading the message and started typing his reply.

 _What makes you think that I'm not flexible?_

 _I don't know. Just a wild guess ;) Are you still having trouble sleeping these days? I'm here if you want to chat._

Since he was practically doing nothing and couldn't find anything interesting on the television, he thought why not call her up. It sounded more appealing than his boring night so far.

"Good evening Mr. President"

"Good evening to you too Ms. Leong"

"So are you going to give it a try then? May I suggest that you get yourself some blocks since you're just starting."

"Blocks? What do you mean?"

He hears her laugh on the other line over his confusion. "Yes yoga blocks. They can help you achieve a pose especially the more advanced ones by providing you with the proper support and alignment."

"How long have you been doing this?"

"A few years. I believe it has been two years."

"So it's been two years since your then marriage began to—"

"Fell apart."

Silence then follows between the two of them. The more he gets to know Serena, the more Fitz is finding how similar some of their circumstances are. It has been two years since his and Mellie divorce happened but life after it didn't turn out the way he thought it would be. In fact during that period he felt like he was living a really bad dream that he just wanted to get away from.

"Can I ask you something? If you find it too personal then it's fine if you don't want to answer?"

"Alright, ask away then."

"You loved your ex-husband right? Like was really in love with him"

"Well yeah, and I married him because he was…back then I saw him as the love of my life."

 _But Liv … is the love of my life_

"So when did you know then that this relationship can never be saved anymore?" She didn't answer him back right away. He feels like he can hear her thinking in her mind as he waits for her reply.

"Because love is never enough."

He remained silent after that response while the person on the other line continued.

"I used to hear that phrase a lot but I never really understood it until this happened to me. Throughout all of this, I realized that a person's choice is much more powerful no matter how much love there can be. They can say they love you but it doesn't mean that they really want to be with you. That choosing to fall out of love is much more powerful than when they fell in love. Just like what they say, love is a choice. A choice that you make every day if you want to keep the relationship."

As he tries to absorb what she just said, Fitz felt the truth in those words. For the first time in a very long time, he feels like someone was voicing out some of the thoughts that have been occupying his head. Suddenly he hears someone knocking on his door, interrupting him with his thoughts.

"Serena wait, sorry I think someone is at my door."

"Sure go ahead and check who it is."

He rushes to his door and checks the peephole. He was rendered surprised upon seeing that it was Olivia on the other side. Quickly he went back to grab his phone.

"Hi Serena, sorry but I have to end this call now."

"Sure that's no problem, Fitz"

"Thanks for the chat and have a good night."

"Bye and hope you sleep well this time."

He smiled at his phone after she bids him goodnight. Placing it on the coffee table, he rushes again to the room's entrance to welcome Liv in.

"Were you busy with something?" Olivia asked upon entering the room.

"Oh I was just in a phone call."

"Was it important? I'm sorry for interrupting."

"No no it's fine Liv. So what brings you here?" He sees that she was holding a bottle of scotch in her hand. A classic Bowmore single malt scotch whiskey.

"I was just in the area and…do you want to share a drink?"

He grabs the bottle from her as she moves to the couch and settles in while Fitz pours them both a drink. Upon joining her, she moves closer to him and tips her glass to his.

"Cheers"

"Cheers"

* * *

A/N: I decided to cut this short because what I initially intended to be part of this chapter I feel deserves a chapter of its own. It has been really interesting reading through your reviews and feedback even the really long ones. Some may find it annoying that it feels like a rehash of the show and I think it means then that this story hits close to being canon when it is supposed to be a continuation of the show.

Updating this has been my sort of mental relief from work because I don't know about you guys but this work from home setup has made me feel even more exhausted somehow.I hope you are all safe and healthy in the comforts of your home!


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